MY STORY: My husband the adulterer

THIS week the ZO was contacted by ‘Kelly,’ a local Richards Bay mother and wife who opened up about the sobering facts of what her marriage entailed.

Her story, like many others, is one that has been concealed behind an emotional wreckage that seemingly graces the shores of reality.

This is her story:
‘I cannot begin to explain the pain anguish and hurt my husband has put my children and I through.

‘His physical, mental abuse, adultery, pornography addiction and alcoholism started early into our marriage.

‘I remember while the children were at play school and I was at work, he would actually bring the woman he was cheating with to my house and sleep with her.

‘I cannot understand how he would desecrate and defile our home like that.

‘After numerous affairs and catching him out he would promise to change.

‘Eventually I left working because most of the time I would be wondering whether he was bringing women to our home.

‘He uses the fact that he is well known to get women into his bed.

‘He befriends women either at work, on social media sites, at the gym or through his sport.

‘He also uses his sport as a way of connecting with women.

‘He has cheated with his students, even with some of their mothers.

‘What astounds me even more is how willing women are to jump into bed with a married man.

‘Richards Bay is a small town so nearly everybody knows everyone else.

‘Whenever these women bump into me they act as though I have taken something from them.

‘My children are now grown and they also have heard from their friends about him and women and drinking.

‘I didn’t divorce him as I was waiting for my children to finish school.

‘It’s so sad as well as there were so many instances when he took our children to these women he was cheating with.

‘He has in three different instances gone for therapy and after that he seems to do as he pleases.

‘He questions me about my daily whereabouts but he must never be questioned.

‘He goes out often at night and we cannot get a hold of him.

‘He will only return in the early hours of the morning.

‘The funniest thing is that he will support organisations for abuse against women and children, yet he is a perpetrator himself.

‘The really sad part of all this is that during most of his affairs, he would bring the women home with their husbands and boyfriends, so that we all could become family friends.

‘He has some new students and they are all happily married, but I am scared that he will break up their marriages, as he has done previously, and nobody deserves his poison that he spreads around.

‘My children and I know first-hand the anguish of betrayal and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

‘He also has a pornography addiction and it’s mostly teen porn.

‘It is so sad because I actually don’t know this man anymore – I actually wonder whether I knew him at all.’

Where can you seek help and support?
LifeLine Zululand – situated in Arboretum, 14 Bauhenia Bend.

Their crisis line number, which operates 24hrs a day, is 035 7897788 and allows callers to discuss a range of challenges from trauma and suicide to relationship issues.

Drug and alcohol abuse
Support can be obtained at the offices of SANCA Zululand.

They offer assessment, medical treatment, family counselling, relapse management and drug testing, and run self-help groups.

The Empangeni office is situated at 12 Jenner Road, Nyala Park, telephone 035 7723290, national toll free number 086 14 SANCA/ 086 14 72622, email shireen.sanca@ gmail.com.

Do you want to tell your story?
Would you like to share a life experience with the objective of raising understanding or awareness or do you have a positive and heartwarming story which will offer encouragement?

Email zulobs@zob.co.za

Emails will be treated with confidentiality. Subject: My Life Story

HAVE YOUR SAY

Like our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter.

For news straight to your phone invite us:

WhatsApp – 072 069 4169

Instagram – zululand_observer