EXCLUSIVE: Sex in the suburbs
'I had dreams, you know. But now, now... I'm doing this so that my daughter can have them'
MEERENSEE.
A luxury suburb nestled in greenery and washed by the sounds of the ocean.
For most, a paradise.
Shiny-faced children in polished school shoes trip off to school, pouring out of luxury SUVs.
Behind the landmark buildings, men grunt and women count the seconds until their appointment with their ‘lover’ of the hour is over.
This is the story of two Richards Bay sex workers, who spoke openly about their secret life in the luxury suburb.
They don’t walk the streets, stand under lamp posts, or illicit ‘Johns’ at intersections.
They operate on cellphones and furtive messages with a clientele that is extensive, and often regular.
‘Leigh’ (34) and ‘Jackie’ (27), live in a two bedroom cigarette-littered apartment in Richards Bay.
From the outside, all is well. The building houses young families and is surrounded by tourist accommodation.
But inside, the barrenness in their eyes tells the stories of their lives – stories that nobody has ever taken the time to listen to.
Leigh
An illegal sex worker since the age of 17, Leigh began her journey on the streets of Pretoria before joining an online escort service.
‘My mother was a drug addict and ‘prozzie’. She forced me into this business because when she stopped prostituting she made me take over her clients to buy drugs for her.
‘If I didn’t do it I would get two black eyes…’
Struggling to find the words, she hesitantly admitted that she had been raped ‘countless times – posibly more than 20 times’ – and that she has had several children, all having been put up for adoption.
‘This isn’t a life I chose.
‘Nobody can tell me they know how I feel, or that they can make it all better, because that is a bunch of lies.
She’s resigned. Given up.
‘You don’t know how it feels until it happens to you.
‘The gang rapes… nobody can tell me they know what that feels like. Nobody can take that pain away. It stays there.’
She sucks hard on her never-ending stream of cigarettes, ash falling on the carpet.
The lines around her eyes and face are a map of years of self-abuse and tension. She’s younger than she looks.
‘Every man you see on the street looks like your rapists eventually.’
‘The drugs would help me forget, they would take me to another place where I wouldn’t be scared or fearful.’
The phone shrills as she pauses. It’s a client. She sighs and excuses herself to attend to him.
Jackie looks at me from the bed where she is lying, draped in a sheet.
‘What can I tell you?’
Jackie
‘This life is easy to get into, but very hard to get out of.’
She’s a mother with a young daughter, one of those shiny-haired little girls delivered to a private school each morning.
‘I haven’t been in this business for very long.
‘It all began when I was kicked out of my boyfriend’s house and I had no money.
‘I was about to begin a new job but didn’t have money for transport, that’s when my roommate said I should get involved with giving sensual massages, something that she was doing at the time. It was quick and easy money.’
But it never ended with the massaging.’
She sees seven to eight clients per day, and her daughter is blissfully unaware of the way her mom makes her school fees.
‘I live this life, do this hour in and hour out while she’s at school so that she never has to do this… so that she can be something, be someone.’
She has no idea, and Jackie hopes she never will.
She lights up another cigarette, dragging hard, touching her blonde hair nervously, eyes constantly darting at her phone’s screen.
It’s almost school pick-up time, and she’ll just be another mom on the school run…
Where can you seek help and support?
LifeLine Zululand – situated in Arboretum, 14 Bauhenia Bend. They offer a safe and confidential space for sex workers.
Their crisis line number, which operates 24hrs a day, is 035 7897788.
The SWEAT Force (Sex Workers Education Advocacy Task) – is a national crisis line that offers counselling, psycho-social support, rape support and referrals for medical assistance. Their toll free number is 0800 606060. Alternatively, the SMS ‘Please Call Me Back’ number is 071 3577632.
Sexual health support – South African sex workers are entitled to unbiased medical assistance at any government clinic or hospital.
Any instances in which sex workers are treated unfairly or poorly at any medical facility should be reported to the SWEAT crisis line.
Drug and alcohol abuse – support can be obtained at the offices of SANCA Zululand. They offer assessment, medical treatment, family counselling, relapse management, drug testing and run self-help groups. The Empangeni office is situated at 12 Jenner Road, Inyala Park), telephone 035 7723290, national toll free number 086 14 SANCA/ 086 14 72622, email shireen.sanca@gmail.com
Do you want to tell your story?
Would you like to share a life experience with the objective of raising understanding or awareness?
Email Laurie. Emails will be treated with confidentially. Subject: My Life Story.
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