Hacks to being a happier, more effective parent

Parenting isn’t a precise science; rather, it’s a process of employing various tactics at specific times to achieve specific results.

Some parents have the ability to feel happy, positive, and empowered, even in difficult times. But there are also those who are stressed and often don’t seem to enjoy parenting – the ones who are barely hanging on. Yes, we have all been on both sides, and most of us go back and forth between these extremes.

This year is the perfect time to make a new start and put steps in place to be a happier, more effective parent. Here’s how:

Parent with wisdom rather than fear

Tim Elmore coined that expression, noting that fear is at the root of a lot of parenting behaviour. We may be afraid of other people, of our own inexperience and flaws, or of any number of dreadful things that might happen to our children. Elmore recommends intentionally substituting wisdom for fear. He discusses it in terms of modeling it for our children, but I believe the process to be beneficial for parents as well. We can’t just wish away our fears or our guilt. However, we can choose not to act on our feelings. Acting on feelings of fear or guilt strengthens their grip on me, whereas opposing them weakens it.

Look for a mentor

Seek advice from someone who can help you decide which fights to fight and when you may relax a little. Having a mentor also allows you to learn from the mistakes and hard lessons of others. Mentors can be found in your community, at work, in schools, and in religious institutions. Keep in mind, though, that anyone with adequate expertise to assist you will most likely be older and have a different perspective on the world. That’s OK. You are not obligated to follow all of their recommendations. Even if you disagree, they might provide you with valuable insight and guidance.

Have faith in yourself

We now have instant access to vast volumes of knowledge from specialists, which can be beneficial but can sometimes be paralysing. Even professionals have difficulties with their children. Parenting isn’t a precise science; rather, it’s a process of employing various tactics at specific times in order to achieve specific results. Successful parents engage their children based on their experience, judgment, and values, rather than following a road map. They are willing to go against the grain and fight hard fights in the long run for long-term gain. When it’s necessary, they say no. They regroup and try something new if they make a mistake. And if you make a mistake, use it as a chance to show your child how to correct it.

Stay clear of spreading gossip

Gossip has a negative impact on people who engage in it, whether it’s about another parent, a teacher, or a child’s peer. Whether it’s in person or over text threads, this is true. Gossiping fosters a climate where mistakes, change, and growth – even our own – are not tolerated. It also trains us to search for the negative and to focus on what we can’t control (other people’s actions) rather than what we can (our choices). This causes a tumult of uneasiness in the background.

Participate in a social media challenge

We’ve all heard about the benefits of decluttering physically. Try simplifying your social network. It will improve your family ties significantly.

Allow your child to face the consequences of their actions

When we stop attempting to control and lessen the repercussions of our children’s behaviour and instead focus on coaching them through obstacles and helping them learn from them, it’s freeing. It helps us focus on the things we can control, and it empowers our children, because failure, difficulty, and barriers are what help them develop the skills and abilities they’ll need as adults.

Make your child’s routine less cluttered

We live in an era when children have never had more opportunities. However, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and being overscheduled can have detrimental implications for families and children. How much free time does your child get when he or she is not supervised by an adult? Do they participate in an activity because it’s enjoyable, or because you’re attempting to create a résumé, position them for a scholarship, or assist them in achieving other long-term objectives? Is any of this going to be relevant in 20 years?

Do something that you like

Finding tiny acts of self-care can have a significant impact. We once overheard an award-winning novelist talking about how she used her daughter’s bath time to squeeze in some writing time. She could only write a sentence at a time. She later realised that this was when she first learned to write a complete sentence. There are numerous methods to take care of yourself, like listening to recorded books, writing in a journal, or streaming a show or podcast while making dinner.

Join the dots

It’s easy to lose sight of the importance of connecting with our children in the midst of all we have to accomplish, yet developing such relationships can help prevent or reduce a variety of significant issues. We should also seek out other parents to interact with. When parents took up the phone and talked to one another, we’ve seen seemingly big, nearly intractable situations solved very rapidly. Join a parent association, a community or religious group, or a recreation league, or host a social gathering for other parents. Successful parents engage their children based on their experience, judgment, and values, rather than following a road map.

Create lasting memories

Family memories are a currency we share with our children that can’t be taken away or dulled. They have the ability to bring us together through laughter and joy. Make time to spend time as a family, doing things as a unit and sharing experiences together. *This article was originally published in ANA Newswire