An independent eMalahleni
What would happen if eMalahleni wanted to become independent of the rest of South Africa, especially since there has always been a stigma about people from other countries working in eMalahleni and South Africa.
International news always seems so foreign to me, you know? Ok now that I have my bad pun out of the way we can get started. The international news I am referring to is the Vote for Scotland’s independence from the UK.
“William Wallace would be rolling around in his grave if he heard that they voted no to independence,” I heard someone say. Firstly William Wallace is not a historical person it is a myth, just like Mel Gibson’s career recently and secondly I have never been to the UK so I don’t really care.
But this got me thinking about what would happen if eMalahleni wanted to become independent of the rest of South Africa, especially since there has always been a stigma about people from other countries working in eMalahleni and South Africa. Imagine if we built a wall or a fence around eMalahleni and achieved independence from the rest of SA. We would have our own flag and cultural ideas. Even speak a different language one day that is a mixture of English, Afrikaans, Xhosa, and swearing. We would nationalise places like Oasis Water instead of nationalising the mines. Warning: sarcasm imminent… It sounds like a great place to live.
Seriously though, we really have a lot of problems people and they don’t seem to go away. The people that are trying to solve them and the people causing them must be suffering from tunnel vision. Why not look to other places that have managed to overcome these issues and learn from them? For example, government corruption, and striking are issues eMalahleni faces. Yes I believe protesting communities is a problem. It is like trying to walk up an escalator going the other way. The word of the day is efficiency, people.
The same thing applies to the grassy politicians stuffing his mattress with R20 notes.
“I know I am making a lot of money by stealing from the municipal Christmas party fund, but maybe I am making things harder for people in the long run?” said no corrupt politician ever.
I know that independence is a tough subject for Scottish people but maybe they had the long run in mind when they voted ‘no’. Maybe it is easier this way. Maybe we should all have the long run in mind next time we have to vote. Now picture Sean Connery looking mysterious and charming in a James Bond approved tux and saying the word “efficiency” slowly, in a way only Sean Connery can. There that should put everything into perspective.
Firstly, Clive Dorrington, William Wallace certainly was an historic figure. He was born around 1270 and executed in 1305. He was indeed the leader of the Scottish rebellion against England. He was hung, drawn and quartered in Smithfield, London and buried in an unmarked grave. Please, research the facts before writing your paltry column!