It’s OK not to be OK this festive season – SADAG

It’s that time of year when tinsel, Christmas decorations and twinkly lights can be seen almost everywhere we go.
Social media feeds are plagued with images of happy families, Christmas trees, holiday snapshots and exclamations about how incredible the joy of the festive season is.

The South African Anxiety and Depression Group (SADAG) says that in contrast, for many, the festive season is filled with loneliness, reminders of the ones lost and unimaginable grief that feels crippling.
Call centre manager Tracy Feinstein explained that many people are also feeling burnt out and depressed at this time of the year.

“While there are many articles that cover coping with grief during the holidays and provide oversimplified tips on what to do to feel better, SADAG understands that this can be a lot easier said than done and that most of the time, what we are really in need of is a listening ear to provide a space where we are allowed to not be okay,” she said.
The counsellors at SADAG offer support through grief and loneliness 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
“We are here to remind you, that it’s okay not to be okay over the festive season. We understand that grief can take on many different shapes and forms including the loss of loved ones, relationships, jobs and financial security and that the festive season can be a bitter reminder of this loss.

“Many people who experience depression, anxiety and stress during the holidays are told, or believe that they should just ‘get over it’. But, having the ‘holiday blues’ is more than just a down day and it isn’t something you can just ‘will’ yourself out of. Family, friends and loved ones may not understand what you are going through and feeling.

“It’s important to realise that grief isn’t something that leaves us after we’ve gone through the five stages of mourning,” Feinstein said.
“Grief is something that we learn to carry with us and the lenses through which we view the event or loss of a person change at different points of our lives.”

Clinical psychologist Liane Lurie said it is not about getting over your grief or putting on a mask and pretending that you’re okay just for the benefit of others over the festive season.

“Grief needs to be felt. If it is not worked through and not processed, it’ll manifested in other area’s of our lives that may cause difficulties in future relationships and more.

“We know that the festive season can be very difficult for many people, and while we don’t see a spike or increase in the number of calls that SADAG receives over the holidays, the reason for people calling in for help is due to loneliness, grief, loss, stress, depression and trauma.

“It is critical that SADAG is open and providing free telephone counselling throughout the holiday season, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, including Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, for anyone who is need of help, crisis intervention and support.

“Even with load-shedding and the impact on networks and signal, anyone who wants to reach out to a counsellor can SMS (31393), WhatsApp (087 163 2030) or fill in a contact form on the SADAG website (www.sadag.org) and a counsellor will call them back,” said Feinstein.

“We are here to help anyone who needs support, counselling or crisis intervention during this difficult time of the year. It is okay to feel isolated, sad and even annoyed by the excitement of the festive season.
“We are here to offer you understanding, care and a place to go when it all feels like it’s too much to cope with. You are not alone this festive season.”