What should I do if my toddler lies?

As a parent or caregiver, it can be concerning when you catch your toddler telling a lie. It’s important to understand that this behavior is normal and is a developmental milestone that all children go through. In this article, we’ll explore why toddlers lie, common things they lie about, and what to do when your toddler lies.

Why do toddlers lie?

Toddlers are still learning about the world around them and are developing their language and social skills. They are also exploring their independence and testing boundaries. Lying is one way that toddlers may try to navigate these new experiences. They may also lie to avoid getting in trouble or to get what they want.

Common things toddlers lie about

Toddlers may lie about a range of things, such as:

• Breaking something: If your toddler breaks something, they may lie to avoid getting in trouble. They may deny being responsible for the damage or blame someone else.
• Eating something they shouldn’t: Toddlers are curious and may eat things they shouldn’t, such as a cookie before dinner or a non-food item. If they know they shouldn’t have eaten it, they may lie about it.
• Not wanting to do something: Toddlers may lie to avoid doing something they don’t want to do, such as taking a nap or cleaning up their toys.
• Wanting attention: Toddlers may lie to get attention from their parents or caregivers. For example, they may say they saw a dinosaur outside to get their parent’s attention.

What to do when your toddler lies

1. Stay calm: It can be frustrating and even hurtful when your toddler lies, but it’s important to stay calm. Reacting with anger or disappointment can make your child feel ashamed and may make them less likely to tell the truth in the future.
2. Avoid punishment: While it may be tempting to punish your child for lying, this may not be effective. Punishment can make your child feel defensive and may make them more likely to lie in the future. Instead, focus on helping them understand why lying is not acceptable.
3. Explain why lying is not okay: Toddlers may not fully understand why lying is not acceptable. Explain to your child that lying hurts other people’s feelings and can damage trust. You can use examples from their own life to help them understand, such as reminding them of a time when someone lied to them and how it made them feel.
4. Reinforce positive behaviour: Instead of punishing your child for lying, praise them when they tell the truth. Let them know that you appreciate their honesty and that it’s always better to tell the truth.
5. Be a good role model: Children learn from the behavior of their parents and caregivers. Make sure you model honesty and integrity in your own life. If your child sees you telling lies or being dishonest, they may be more likely to do the same.
6. Help them problem-solve: If your child lied to avoid getting in trouble, help them problem-solve for the future. For example, if they broke something, talk to them about how to handle the situation in the future. You can also help them come up with alternative ways to handle difficult situations, such as asking for help or telling the truth.