That Friday Feeling: Don’t covet your neighbour’s wife’s fruit

Illustration: Nathi Ngubane

Illustration: Nathi Ngubane

This week’s winning reader story is about how it’s possible to take pruning your wife’s trees to psychotic levels.

A few years ago, growing up as kids, we used to be very mischievous and would sneak into the next-door neighbour’s garden to steal fruit. One day we were caught by the owner, Aunt Matshezi, so we thought we were in huge trouble, but she just urged us to close the hole we opened through the fence and feel free to use the gate anytime we wanted fruit.

Every day was Christmas to us after that on our holidays, even though the husband looked pretty annoyed whenever we came into his yard to eat fruit.

Then one morning we heard a loud voice in the streets declaring “Yes! No more! Nooooooo more. They are all down!” He was kind of deaf and always shouted.

Everyone was wondering what was happening and what was no more. Some of our neighbours were laughing and others were mimicking his “no more!” cry.

At last the mystery was revealed when we decided to swing by his yard for some more peaches and apricots, only to find that every single one of those trees had been turned into firewood.

“No more trees, they are all down! No more!”

I think the look of shocked disappointment on our faces made it all the more worthwhile for the bitter old geezer. He giggled with evil mirth and glee.

“Noooo moooore!”

We just burst out laughing. His wife was the most shocked of all. Her beloved garden was a disaster!

Every Friday, between 1.30pm and 2pm, a Citizen online reader will have their winning, fun story of the week featured as the lead story on our website for half an hour. Because not everything in life is about crime, corruption and murder – and it’s almost the weekend! So enjoy this week’s winning story. And if you’d like to enter the competition yourself, click here or on the That Friday Feeling banners on this site.




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