The Westcliff: A luxurious hotel amid a concrete jungle

I might be a long-time resident of Cape Town (only 30 years, so I don’t even come close to being a Capetonian in the eyes of those who are born here) but there’s a landmark in the north of South Africa that means as much to me as Table Mountain.

It’s the Hillbrow Tower … or whatever you people from Gauteng call it now.

For years I existed within its shadow, almost as if I lived at various points of a sundial – mainly Hillbrow, Berea, Yeoville and then, at school, in Upper Houghton. Whenever I travelled to and fro from The Smoke, the tower was my lodestone; I knew I was nearing home, night or day, when I saw that concrete Post Office landmark perched arrogantly atop the brow of the hill.

I’ve seen many perspectives of that tower. From directly below while dining at the old Gramadoelas restaurant with my mum, from the Joburg CBD when the 50th floor Carlton Centre lookout deck was opened and even from Auckland Park when a friend shanghai’d me into working for SABC-TV’s Goeie more, Suid Afrika.

But never had I seen it from the proverbial lap of luxury until I went out onto my balcony at the Four Seasons Hotel, The Westcliff, a few mornings ago. There it was, stark in its concrete glory in the crisp Highveld winter light, towering – excuse the pun – over the equally austere Joburg Gen (or whatever you people from Gauteng call the hospital now).

It was my best viewing of that landmark ever (not the Joburg Gen), far classier than in 2010 when a giant World Cup-inspired football disfigured its stem like an oversized Adam’s apple.

Johannesburg skyline.

When I was still at school, I thought the ultimate view of northern Jo’burg was from the top of Munro Drive. From there you saw just miles and miles of trees (Sandton City wasn’t built yet) and you could appreciate the city fathers’ boast that Jozi was the biggest urban forest in the world.

From The Westcliff, you can see both jacaranda and cement … and you see them from barely above treetop level. It’s spectacular and, yes, it takes a Randlord’s purse to enjoy the panoramic view. Call me Barney Barnato or Patrice Motsepe on a ginger-beer income but it’s worth doing at least one night.

Four Seasons Hotel, The Westcliff.

I arrived long after dark following a very early morning bushdrive start, followed by a lengthy and eventful outdoor photographic shoot before starting the 500km trek back from Hoedspruit. As befits a superior five-star establishment, check-in was personal and painless, and I was soon transported by golf-cart to my room – of which The Westcliff has 105 (and 12 suites).

Needless to say, the room was plush but, tired as I was, I had little inclination to explore the amenities beyond ordering an in-room dinner and bottle of AA Badenhorst Secateurs red blend to hasten my sleep. The bed was so large you could land an Airbus A380 on it.

If you don’t get the chance to stay over at The Westcliff, head northwards down Jan Smuts Avenue towards Saxonwold and the zoo on a Saturday morning for the almost-ultimate brunch experience.

Brunch at The Westcliff.

Do not do so, however, if you’re not hungry. And do not make the mistake I did of ordering off the hot menu before exploring the extensive buffet. The desserts especially are exquisitely presented.

It’s an extravagant occasion and my guest and I were surprised at how many people were in attendance.  Many were young and blingy, and seemed to be there more for the bubbly than the food.

But, hey, welcome to Jozi where anything goes if you can afford it!

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