After moving out of the safety of my mother’s home, I moved into a security complex with my then boyfriend.
We lived there for two years and moved into another security complex with a little more space where we lived for a year.
We have now bought a smallholding and a place to call our own, but it has a few more twists than our previous homes.
When you have lived a rather sheltered life behind motorised gates, high walls and a number of neighbours right next to (and above) you, you are not too safety conscious.
Working in the media, I am very aware of the crime happening on a daily basis in and around our town, but I wasn’t really too worried about this fact because, as stated above, I’ve been sheltered.
We’ve been living in our new home for almost three weeks and I’m getting more paranoid as the days pass.
I am now hypersensitive to locked gates and lights.
When your safety now relies on your actions and vigilance it can become quite daunting.
My husband pokes fun at me and says I constantly look like a meerkat with my head bobbing and turning all over the place when I hear a slight sound.
Be it a window making a noise or the dogs knocking something over or even a bird flapping past the window, this girl here goes into investigative mode.
Only after I initially freeze up and ask to no one in particular: “What was that?”
I’ve had to wake up my poor, exhausted husband numerous times throughout the night because “I thought I heard something” and due to him being the man and all (and me too scared), he has to establish that it was merely a tree branch knocking against the roof or, more often, absolutely nothing.
I know being safety aware is a good thing, but I’m bordering on full-on paranoia.
When the dog gives a small bark, my heartbeat accelerates to the point of booming in my chest and my eyes grow rather large.
Then I get mad at the dog for barking at nothing.
And mad at my husband for not checking the windows when the dog barks.
Yes, I get a little crazed.
The motorised gate closes by itself when open, but I refuse to wait the 10 seconds before it does, so I drive through and close the gate as soon as my car is clear and wait until it is completely closed before I drive off again.
It really is a scary feeling to experience true independence for the first time in my life, having to be the adult and making sure everything is alright.
I don’t like being an adult, but my husband says I’m being silly when I say that and that is “not so bad”.
Pfft, yeah right, buddy.
You don’t lie wide awake at 1am and listen to sounds that aren’t even there.
On a serious note, things are bad out there and it never hurts to make double, or even triple sure all doors and windows are locked.
Always be vigilant.
