Children with ADHD cannot delay gratification and need external rewards for motivation. They have difficult personalities, are sassy, impervious to discipline and obnoxious. As mentioned in the first edition the symptoms of ADHD per se are:
- Attention deficit and distractibility – The child never appears to listen to any instruction, does not respond to any order and does not remember to do tasks, even on a daily basis.Their attention is distracted from external noises/movements etc. or internal cognitive factors. These children need constant reminding, appraisal, recognition and do not appear to be able to work independently.
- Impulsivity – Many learners in school and/or home are punished / reprimanded for wrongdoing without recognising that they have committed an act that is unacceptable.They perform potentially life threatening acts. They act without thinking. They interrupt and invade private/personal space without realising it. They appear to be very demanding and cannot postpone self-gratification.
- Hyperactivity – Despite always being on the go, unable to sit still and squirming in their seats, and running around, they are also boisterous and talkative; often talking incessantly without getting to the point. They are egocentric and cannot understand why their will does not happen on demand.
These children can by hypo- or hyper aroused, and sometimes, when they get excited, can be totally out of control with bouts of anger, lashing out, crying and throwing temper tantrums. Their behaviour can be totally unpredictable making the upbringing and education of these children very difficult. nEach of these sign implies specific difficulties within the family
Discipline: In dealing with children with ADHD, both parents have to be involved in the discipline of these children.
- Both parents have to discuss and agree upon the disciplining of these children.
- Both parents have to be consistent as far as their disciplining is concerned.
- Decide which specific behaviour has to be targeted. Remember, you cannot target more than three major behaviours at any one time.
- Both parents have to agree on how to target these behaviour problems.
- It’s very important not to argue with your child regarding discipline. You remain in charge and these matters are not open for discussion. However, this does not mean you cannot have discussions about other topics.
- Your word is law, and not to be challenged. On the other hand you have to be reasonable.
- Don’t shout at these children. If you shout you have lost the “battle”) as they will stop listening.
- Corporal punishment has little effect and is sometimes the only way out when you are unprepared, not understanding the need and demands of these children, exasperated or scared. Remember that corporal punishment is prohibited in accordance with the South African School’s Act 84 of 1996.
- Think your discipline thoroughly through – never be at a loss of what to do next.
- It is important that these children get feedback for good behaviour and not only for bad or negative behaviour, as they have no idea what good or positive behaviour entails.
- Limit your instructions and keep them short, not too many words, not too many terms of endearment. Speak in a soft, clipped and detached way.
- Use affection only as a reward for good behaviour or for correcting bad behaviour (in other words, talk to your child as you talk to your husband or wife when you are fed-up with him or her).
- Set rules beforehand. If possible, write them down and have the child sign them, and place them in an obvious spot.
Systems to use
- Rules of three.
- Rewards and punishments (bribes if necessary).
- Time out.
- Punish sibling fighting decisively, immediately, dispassionately and don’t ask for details. Both children involved should be punished immediately, irrespective of who started what with whom.
- Behaviour in public places: set rules and remind and reward.
- Seek professional help if you are not coping, either by attending support groups, family groups, church groups or see a psychologist or psychiatrist, if necessary.
- A neurologist also plays a vital role to determine any medication to be used for concentration and/or anxiety. (Medication from a school’s perspective will be dealt with in future contributions).
- Above all else, try and have realistic expectations and even more important, try and see some humour within the situation.
If you have any questions on this or other learning difficulties, please direct these to the school through the Addie for coverage in a future issue. Questions and suggestions can be sent to samk@caxton.co.za
