When children fail
No parent likes to see their children fail but learning how to handle the situation may have a positive effect on the child.
It can be transformed into a learning experience that improves a child’s ability to succeed in the future.
Failure is a natural part of living but can also produce anger, sadness, frustration or a low self-esteem in a child or adult.
“Parents should teach their children to recognise and deal with those feelings in a positive way,” says Lynne Cawood, director of Childline Gauteng.
Children watch and learn from their parents, how they accept or deal with failure and how it influences their own response.
If a parent gets angry or upset at a child’s teacher or sport coach, children may follow the same standard of behaviour when faced with their own failures.
Parents should encourage and praise their children as this will teach the child about problem solving through failure. Parents can also assist their child to identify their emotions and express it in an acceptable way.
Tips from Childline:
- Give the child an opportunity to talk about why they think things didn’t go the way they expected them to go.
- Provide age-appropriate activities that match a child’s interests and skills.
- Let a child know that winning isn’t the most important thing.
- Communicate with the child about their strengths and positive nature.
- Keep expectations reasonable and realistic.
- Show the child that they are loved, win or lose.
Children can learn from their mistakes and not be afraid to try again.
The Addie posted a question on the subject on Facebook and this is what the people had to say:
Rina Prinsloo: “I think it will be difficult for the child as well as the parents, a very emotional time.”
Ruth Malan: “You support your kids whether they failed or otherwise. Never condemn them.”
Karin Pienaar: “Depends on the circumstances. If the child put in the hours and failed, support them if they were playing around it’s another story.”
Denis Mogensen: “Support them. Sometimes they just need to see that a parent will always be there for them no matter what.”
Heidi van der Westhuizen: “Support them. I might be wrong and differ from other people’s opinion, but if it happens, it is life. Our lives have been planned long before we knew it would happen, but to support them is good. We have been through this and to cry will not give you a pass, but work harder next year.”
Eugene Hall: “Do kids still fail?”
Anette de Neys: “Remember the child in front of you is more import than what any report says. Support and love, each one has different talents and we must remind them of that.”
Bushy van Eck: “Punishment or support in case of a failure is the wrong question to ask and we should rather question why. A child failing a grade should never be coming as a surprise and as such is inexcusable.”
*Childline is a 24/7 toll free helpline for all child related problems.Call 080 005 5555.
