Uncover and prevent sexual abuse

Counsellor Marlene Minnie says the organisation believes protecting children from sexual abuse is an adult responsibility.

One in 10 children are sexually abused which means realities rather than blind trust should influence our choices regarding our children’s safety.

Read: New programme for child abuse

Learn the facts

• Youth are the victims of 66% of all sexual offences reported to law enforcement

• Experts estimate that about one in 10 children are sexually abused before their 18th birthday

• Youth are 2.5 times more likely to be raped than adults

• About 40% of victims are 11 years old or younger

• About 9% of 10 to 17-year-olds receive a sexual request while on the Internet

• Sexually abused children are at greater risk for psychological, emotional,social and physical problems, often lasting into adulthood

Minimise the opportunity

Read: Take action when your spouse abuses your child

• Choose group situations and have multiple adults supervise children

• Scan the physical environment for hidden areas and correct dangers

• Make sure interactions can be observed and interrupted

• Remember that older youth should not be in isolated, one-on-one situations with younger children

Talk about it

• The abuser sometimes threatens the child or a family member

• They may try to confuse the child about right and wrong

• Many abusers tell children the abuse is okay or a game

• The abuser may shame, blame or tell the child that their parents will be angry.

• Children are afraid of disrupting or hurting their family

• Some children who did not initially disclose are afraid to tell when it happens again

• Some children are too young to understand

Marlene says one of the best protections is our relationship with our children.

Recognise the signs

Physical signs are not common, but the following should be carefully examined by a professional.

• Bruising, bleeding, redness, rashes, bumps or scabs especially around the genitals

• Urinary tract infections

• Sexually transmitted diseases

• Abnormal discharge

• Chronic stomach pain, headaches or other ailments that can’t be explained medically

React responsibly

Understand how to respond to risky behaviours and suspicions or reports of abuse.

There are three reasons we need to react to sexual abuse.

• A child discloses it to us

• We discover it ourselves

• We have reason to suspect it

A child has broken through secrecy, fear, and shame and has chosen you as the person he or she trusts enough to tell.

Honour that with attention, compassion and belief.

• Listen calmly and openly

• Don’t fill in the gaps, or rush to ‘get to the bottom of it’

• Don’t ask leading questions about details

• Ask only open ended questions: What happened next? or say it’s okay to tell me more.

• Believe the child

• Tell the child he’s done nothing wrong

• Affirm the child’s courage

• Seek the help of a professional who is trained to talk with the child about sexual abuse.

Source: Darkness to Light’s 5 Steps to protecting our children