10 things you should know about your friend with cancer
We can’t stop our friends getting cancer, but we can provide them with love and support.
This year marks the 10th Hollard Daredevil Run. The Hollard Daredevil Run is an awareness and fundraising event for male cancer’s and in particular focusing on prostate and testicular cancer. Last year over 3400 men participated in solidarity with their brothers living with cancer.
What would you do if your friend got cancer?
How would you react?
Here are 10 things you should know about your friend with cancer to help you be more supportive.
1 Diagnosis
A cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment can lead to depression. It’s important to note that with prostate and testicular cancer the survival rate 5 years after an early diagnosis is above 90%. Don’t treat your friend like them having cancer is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened. 4000 men are diagnosed with Prostate cancer in South Africa every year, male cancers are more prevalent than most people think.
2 Maintain your Friendships
It’s important to maintain your friendships with cancer survivors especially if they spend months in hospital or at home. Isolation and loneliness can be destructive to their quality of life. A very common occurrence, sadly, is that friends may, over time, be in short supply. This could be for a variety of reasons, including a superficial understanding of the hardships experienced by the survivor. Stand by your mates!
3 Keep your pseudo-medical musings to yourself
Stand by your mates, but don’t be a know-it-all. Cancer research is conducted by trained professionals, it’s serious and in-depth. Sometimes we think we are helping but we’re actually adding to the problem, which is certainly the case when it comes to unsolicited advice about serious health issues. Nobody needs to hear about your miracle cure that you found on the internet at 3 o’clock in the morning. What your friend needs from you is support and compassion; leave the medical guidance to their doctors.
4 They’re still the same person
You might be shocked by the changes your friend is going through. The side effects of chemotherapy and radiation include hair loss, weight loss or gain, nausea, fatigue and more. All these can have a negative effect on self-esteem and body image. They still have the same sense of humour, they still support the same football team and they‘re still the guy you have always been friends with. What they need you to be, is the friend you’ve always been, no matter how they feel or look.
5 Their families also need support
The psychological and financial burdens of cancer treatment can affect families as well. Primary caregivers – like mothers and wives – often have to leave their employment to take care of their child or husband, resulting in severe financial distress or even in bankruptcy. The family may have to travel long distances to hospitals and care facilities – the costs in terms of time and money only increase the already too-heavy burden. There are many simple ways that you can contribute; give lifts to treatments or visits, making or providing meals for their family and you can contribute by raising money. We all know how to be kind, but kindness takes action.
6 Misplaced anger is the last thing they need
When something negative happens in our lives we often have the tendency to want to blame someone. The blame game has no place in supporting somebody with cancer. The source of our desire to blame others often comes from anger at our own powerlessness. Men especially struggle to cope with not being able to take control of a situation. A further cause of anger, for men especially, comes from an inability or unwillingness to deal with the emotions that their friend’s cancer prompts in them; sadness, confusion or even betrayal. What you must always remember is that it is happening to your friend not to you.
7 Understanding remission
The term ‘in remission’ is one which anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer wants to hear. It is a decisive moment in terms of long term health prognosis. There are two types of remission: Partial remission refers to when the cancer is still present but manageable, often leading to a break in treatment. Complete remission is when cancer can no longer be detected in the body. It’s important to stay mindful that in either case there is always a chance of recurrence.
8 You should also get tested.
Have you been tested? It’s not only important to do so in solidarity with your friend but also for your own health. In terms of prostate cancer, The Prostate-Specific Antigen (PSA) test is used. It’s a blood test that gives an indication as to whether or not something is wrong with your prostate. This is a simple test that takes less than 30 seconds for a doctor to perform. In the early stages of prostate cancer, there may be no presentation of any symptoms at all, which is why screening is so vital. Black South African men and men with a positive family history of breast- or prostate cancer consider screening from the age of 40 (this is because black men have a significantly larger lifetime risk of contracting prostate cancer). Men from all other ethnic groups should consider screening from the age of 45.
In terms of testicular cancer men between the ages of 15 to 35 are most at risk. Self-testing is important, teens and men must feel for any abnormality in their testes, including – most especially – lumps and swelling. If testicular cancer is suspected by your consulting doctor, several tests may be implemented before a diagnosis is given. These tests include biopsies, ultrasounds, blood tests and PET, CT and MRI scans.
9 Get involved in awareness and fundraising events
Get involved in awareness and fundraising events. You will be helping men be mindful of the health risks facing them in terms of male cancers and emphasizing the value of getting tested. Cancer research and treatments are expensive. Organisations like CANSA are indispensable resources for help and information. They are in constant need of funding and supporting these events is the best way to contribute.
10 Hollard Daredevil Run
A great way to support your friend and all other men with cancer by raising money and spreading awareness is to join the 10th Hollard Daredevil run on the 13th of March 2020.
It will be at Zoo Lake Sports Club, c/o Lower Park / Prince of Wales / Westwold, Parkwood.
It is as simple as:
- A minimum donation of R100 (R50 for under 18’s) is required
- R50 for a Daredevil Speedo if you’re a first timer or need a new one (Get yourself a special 10th anniversary edition with gold text!),
- R10 for admin fees.
Sometimes helping someone close to us can be difficult. And nothing can prepare us completely for any adverse situation, but hopefully by engaging with this article, you might be better prepared if the time comes that someone close to you is diagnosed with cancer.
