At what age should you talk to your child about SEX?
We interviewed some parents to get first-hand opinions regarding the sex topic and this is what they had to say.
Most black parents would concur that discussing sexual matters with your child isn’t an easy-to-do task. Some argue that sex is a topic for adults. But, why is it difficult for parents?
And if it isn’t difficult, when is it the right time to sit down with your child and make them aware of these issues as they grow? As a result, we opted to interview a few adults about the sex topic, and this is what they had to say:
Mpho Moshoeshoe
As early as possible. As soon as a child understands that intimacy exists, it’s the right time. Parents shouldn’t wait for the child to hear it from friends because it may come very distorted.
So parents should closely monitor their children’s mental development quite early, so as not to miss any vital signs that growth has crept in. So I would say age 7 would be…uuuhh!!, according to me, the perfect age.
Lelo Mnyaka
I think it only becomes uncomfortable looking at how you were raised, our beliefs also play a role. With innovation and technology, we have learnt many ways of doing things the modern way which makes topics like sex easy to engage in with young children.
As a person that works with children, I would say from the age of 8 years, we should start explaining certain things such as private parts and their functions, help them understand their bodies first before you get into the sex topic.
I believe we underestimate children and their understanding of a lot of things and we often wait until it’s too late to explain things like sex to prevent early pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Better they hear it from you than someone who will not explain it properly remembering we still need to protect them.
Abigail Mailula
The thing is, you don’t just throw topics like these at kids without building a real relationship that allows them to open up about sex. It should really not be an event for them.
I don’t think parents should wait and say, okay, today is the day. My child turned 13, I feel it is time we both talked about sex. It should happen as quickly as you notice changes in their behaviour (careful not to leave it until it’s too late). Also, when you see an indication of attraction towards opposite sex, that’s where you start.
There’s not a perfect age. Some kids mature quicker than others, so if we say that the perfect age is 13 and your child is already dating at age 10, then you have missed the plot.
Grace Selolo
To be honest, it is not easy, our parents never used to talk to us about sex, so talking about it with our kids is difficult. We grew up knowing that ‘sex’ is a topic we should never touch around kids, however, we need to unlearn this, our kids need to know everything about sex as early as possible.
Prudence Seraga
LOL!! What an uncomfortable topic to engage in with your kids, but we need to try to guide them. As uncomfy as it may be, it is very important that we teach them about these things. I personally think that teenagers are the ones we should start discussing sex issues ASAP.
Tlabo Phahladira
I never find difficulties talking to my kids about sex because I told myself that they need to learn most things from before they get exposed to the outside. I talk to my kids about everything. I think that as soon as you notice changes in their behaviour you need to step in and guide them.
Kgadi Moabelo
I’m a young parent and talking about sex with my kids has never been a problem. I want to make sure that my kids are free around me, to actually talk about everything and anything.
However, at first, I thought talking to them about sex would actually create the curiosity to want to try it out. But the truth is, at some stage, these kids become curious about almost everything anyway, so it’s better to talk to them and teach them about at home first.
Elias Pankie
I’m not comfortable at all. We were never taught like that but once a child is 16-years, he/she needs to learn about these things. The problem is how do you even begin to talk to your child about it. It’s really hard.
Makhosazana Tshabalala
It is not a problem, in fact, I think it is wise to start talking to them about sex at an early age. I started with mine when he was 10 and I think it works.
We can’t hide it from them forever. At some point they’ll still come across it and if you never gave yourself time to educate your kids they might make wrong choices.
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