Check your child’s mental health before the next step after matric
There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. Remember setbacks do not equal failure. You are allowed to set boundaries. It’s okay to rest. Not everything you think is true – feelings are not facts,” said Strydom
The demanding and intense environment of a matric year can create excessive pressure on learners.
Psychologist Jessica Strydom has provided advice for learners and parents to tackle the next phase of a youngster’s life, whether they passed or failed their matric.
Failing matric
Strydom said stress is a normal reaction to failure.
For matriculates who have failed, the stress can be felt intensely because as a society we have the idea that failing or passing matric is the be-all and end-all. It’s not,” said Strydom.
She said a learner and parents can look at this as a lesson about opportunities.
“It is important to talk about those feelings with someone you trust. It is equally important to remember that failing matric does not mean that your life is over or that you are doomed to failure. You can still make a success of your life. Think about how you can do things differently to ensure that you have the support and resources that you need to pass,” said Strydom.
She also said that can be shame assorted with failure.
“This too is a normal reaction because a student and parents might feel a very deep sense of disappointment.”
She said it’s important to talk about the shame that is felt either by the learner or family.
“Your child needs your reassurance and support during this time so that they can try again and succeed,” said Strydom.
The following signs might be an indication that your child is not coping and requires assistance:
• Withdrawing from friends and family.
• Losing interest in activities that they previously enjoyed.
• Having mood swings or persistent changes in their usual behavior and personality.
• Being aggressive or irritated.
• Change in their sleeping habits – either sleeping a lot or having difficulty sleeping.
• A sudden change in eating habits.
• Using drugs or alcohol.
• Taking unnecessary and dangerous risks.
• Suddenly being happy after a long depression.
• Talking about death and suicide.
Passed matric
Strydom said it’s not only failure that can cause mental problems.
“Passing can be overwhelming. Applying to universities, finding financing options such as scholarships and bursaries, or deciding what work one wants to start is difficult and can be confusing.”
“Allow your child to choose their career and use the resources available to you. There are career guidance counsellors at universities, as well as online resources published by the Department of Higher Education and Training which provides information on subject choice, career choice, and job fit,” said Strydom.
She said if the child is still not sure they can research short courses to complete before deciding to register for a degree.
Varsity
Moving away from home can be exciting but also scary.
Strydom said it’s important for one to build a support system as this next phase of your life journey needs support.
“Don’t underestimate the importance of maintaining and building your support system. Make time to contact your family and loved ones regularly,” said Strydom.
She encouraged students to use the free counselling university offers.
“You can find out how to access counselling services by contacting the university administration. Remember setbacks do not equal failure,” said Strydom
Five things you can do to keep yourself in a healthy mental space:
1. Connect with other people. Support systems and quality of relationships are essential to our mental health.
2. Take care of your physical well-being. Ensure that you are maintaining a healthy diet and being active.
3. Manage your stress. Be aware of what triggers your stress and implement strategies to manage your stress before it becomes overwhelming.
4. Express yourself. Bottling up your emotions is not helpful and can be harmful. Find an appropriate and safe space to express your emotions by talking to someone you trust, or by keeping a journal to write about how you feel.
5. Ask for help. There is no shame in asking for help; it’s okay not to be okay and you are not alone. The earlier you reach out, the better.
Learners and students can contact the South African Depression and Anxiety Group emergency hotline on 0800 567 567 or 0800 456 789 or LifeLine on 011 728 1347 for 24-hour anonymous assistance.
For career guidance go to onlinehttps://ncap.careerhelp.org.za
