Learning to let go of grudges
We have all experienced hurt and pain in our lives at some point, however forgiveness is key.
As people, we are often exposed to very painful experiences that may leave marks that are difficult to heal from, especially if we feel someone has wronged us or harmed us.
Living with that pain makes it difficult to move on, therefore it is important to forgive and let go of that hurtful emotional baggage for your own good, by letting go of grudges.
1. Acknowledge the problem
Figure out what it is that’s causing you to hold a grudge. You have to know what the problem is in order to solve it. When you allow yourself to see the real issue you can then make a choice to move forward from there.
2. Share your feelings
A grudge can form when an issue isn’t fully confronted. Without being judgmental about yourself or another, clarify your feelings on the situation. Then, decide if this is something you will work on in your own heart or by contacting the other person involved. Only when you are ready, communicate with the other person about the issue. Whether you work it out on your own or involved the other person, you may feel more relieved by releasing that built up tension and all involved can have a better understanding of the situation and able to resolve the issue.
3. Switch places
To get a better understanding of the other person, try putting yourself in their shoes. This will give you a better understanding of their point of view and behaviour. Maybe the person in question was in a lot of pain. This doesn’t justify their negativity, but it will help you understand it.
4. Accept what is
Choose to create your own healing, with or without an apology. Don’t wait for the person you are upset with to come around. For all you know they are already past the issue and not putting as much thought into it. Even if they don’t offer an apology, it doesn’t mean they are not remorseful. Some people are unable to apologize or may not fully understand that the person they hurt may need to hear one.
5. Don’t dwell on it
Once you have decided to move on, keep on moving. Don’t put too much thought into the situation or continuously discuss it. It will only make things worse and harder to get over.
6. Take the positive
For every negative situation, there is a positive. If you take this as a learning experience, you will benefit from knowing more about yourself and the other person. Choose to learn a valuable lesson or walk away with a better understanding that can help you let go of the issue and not resent the other person.
7. Let it go
Letting go allows room for peace and happiness. A long-lasting grudge will only drain you physically and emotionally and can surely affect your health. You will use more energy than you can imagine by holding a grudge than you will by letting go.
“I believe forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they’re sorry and an even stronger person to forgive.” – Yolanda Hadid
8. Forgive
Of course forgiving doesn’t mean you will forget the issue. It’s just acknowledging your differences and accepting that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes we should learn from. Forgiving isn’t the easiest to do especially when you’ve endured a lot of hurt and pain, but it’s the only way to truly let go and have peace.
(Source: PsychCentral)
DID YOU KNOW?
Click on the words highlighted in red to read more on this and related topics.
To receive news links via WhatsApp, send an invite to 061-876-3179
The Southlands Sun is also on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest – why not join us there?
Do you have more information pertaining to this story?
Feel free to let us know by commenting on our Facebook page or you can contact our newsroom on 031-903-2341 and speak to a journalist.
(Comments posted on this issue may be used for publication in the Sun)
