THEY say it takes 16 days for a bruise to heal but a lifetime for emotional scars to be forgotten.
Friday, 25 November marks the beginning of 16 days of activism against gender-based violence. While many campaigns focus on the abuse and violent acts against women and children, men are tend to be left out of the outcry for non-violence.
Abuse and rape of men and boys is treated as a taboo in many countries including South Africa, leaving victims feeling ashamed and hopeless.
Recently a KZN man was ridiculed when a video of him being raped by three women went viral on social media. Speaking to media he said, he feared going to the police because he thought they would not take him seriously. What made it more difficult to move on was that the video was on social media and people had come to ask him what happened. “It is something I never thought would happen to me. There is not much I can do but try to move on,” he said. The two women were later charged with sexual assault and not rape.
Wentworth man, Oliver Meth who shares a similar story of rape knows how difficult it is to report a rape case as a man. ” For the past 12 years, I have been advocating for male survivors. During this time, few organisations have come forward to support the ending of sexual violence against men and boys.
I strongly feel that the more we diminish the stigma around rape, particularly of men, by providing equal support for them – then the easier and more acceptable will it be for many abused victims to seek help.
He rubbished the 16 days activism campaign because he believes it does not stand for everyone. “Well, it does not look like it, if one compares crime statistics. We still have a long way to go. More needs to be done, especially for gay men and women in this country and this campaign does not address these gendered issues yet promotes heteronormitivity and sidelines gender non-conforming people. Men have been shunned during this campaign. There are very few, if any, organisations which have taken up the cause for men and boys. Most organisations don’t provide counselling, give legal advice and information for men,” he exclaimed.
Not only do male rape survivors report a lack of services and support, said Meth, but the legal system is ill equipped to deal with this type of crime. Inconsistent definitions of rape, different rates of reporting, recording, prosecution and conviction for male rape create controversial statistical disparities. The lack of sex-disaggregated data about female and male rape provides unreliable statistics. “What I’m trying to say, by rubbishing this government campaign, is that we need to have inclusive programming that encompasses all genders (and race) as rape affects anyone and everyone,” he added.
NPO, South African Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (SAMSOSA) hopes to serve as a resource and referral centre, providing information, support and training for victims, affected individuals and organisations in a safe, non-judgmental structure. In addition, we will act as an advocacy group for non-offending male rape and abuse survivors to create awareness and understanding that will change social attitudes and structures.
On his website, Rees Mann said “The rape and sexual abuse of both adult and young men around the world has been so greatly ignored, disrespected and discounted for, that it has created a major misconception in many that such an occurrence does not exist.” He mentioned many services currently available are solely focused on meeting the needs of female victims who have been abused and sexually assaulted and in this exclusivity silently perpetuate the fallacy that male rape does not exist. “The vast majority of male rape and abuse victims will never report their trauma due to a lack of awareness and misunderstandings of male sexual abuse as well as the current lack of support services available, instead they choose to suffer its effects alone and in silence,” he added.
For more information about SAMSOSA click here or visit this Facebook page.
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