As a parent, you might have dreamed of your son and daughter taking their first steps in emulating your school career. From the subjects they’ll excel to the sport code they’ll choose. You’ve had it all figured out. But even if you want your child to one day be as good as you were in rugby, cricket, soccer or tennis, chances are they may not have as much passion in the sport as you do.
Think about your child’s interests and natural abilities.
Try to really see your child. What does she want to do? What are his natural gifts? Parental expectations that don’t match with a child’s true self can cause a lot of grief for both parent and child. Another common issue is that of peer pressure. Parents feel peer pressure just as children do. Perhaps all the children in your family’s social group play rugby, but your child has no interest. Do you force your child to play or do you find other ways to connect with family friends?
Offer gentle guidance.
However, if you notice that your child is consistently choosing after-school activities that are commonly associated with children of the same sex as your child, offer gentle guidance but don’t push. Suggest that your daughter try karate or that your son try hockey. You might even look for something outside of your child’s comfort zone that you could try together, such as signing up for father-daughter ice skating lessons.
Consider your priorities.
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of youth sporting events or cultural performances, but keep an eye on the big picture too. What do you want your child to gain from an activity? Do you want these activities to help build friendships, physical fitness, self-esteem, work ethic? Many different types of extracurricular activities build these abilities. Running and karate, for example, are great forms of exercise for a child who doesn’t love team sports.
Try new activities and sports.
By the time children reach high school, they’ve usually settled on a few sports or extracurricular activities that they excel in, but don’t force this process too quickly. The early formative years are a great time for children to explore a variety of activities. Try several sports through inexpensive recreational sports leagues. Join a children’s choir or sign up for art lessons. Through experimentation, parents can help children find the activities that they’re passionate about.
Gender inequality on the sports field is less common than in the past, but children still face stress and pressure when it comes to choosing sports and extracurricular activities. By putting your child’s needs first, you can ensure that these experiences will be truly positive and beneficial for the entire family.
