Confessions of a single mamma: Life’s love lessons
Southlands Sun journalist Yoshini Perumal shares how she deals with grief and the loss of a loved one.
DEALING with the deaths of three strong, wise women, whom I held close to my heart, within weeks of each other, was a blow I was not ready to face.
But like any difficult situation I am dealt with by life, I found my strength to cope by digging deep to examine every memory, to find the lesson it taught me at the time.
My grandfather’s sister, who was 95 when she passed, left an indelible imprint in my mind from when I was a little girl as I heard stories of how she saved my life from being destroyed by the modern ways of medicine while I was still in my mother’s womb.
Also read: Confessions of a single mamma: Frenemy
It was a story of faith, which was often relayed to me by my elders as a reminder that faith and love do conquer even the most challenging situations.
She touched many hearts with her miraculous faith in her religion and culture and gave her time so lovingly to hundreds of people in her community, helping them in ways they could never repay her for.
From my grandmother’s sister, who was months away from turning 90 when she passed, I am thankful to have learned that you can always be polite, pleasant and calm without reacting harshly.
Her loving nature made me pledge to myself to try to inculcate her mannerisms in some way into my lifestyle each day.
My grandmother (who was 86 when she passed), was someone with whom I shared a great bond, who had an influence in my life that created my love for many things.
She unknowingly taught me to live the way I wanted to and to not shy away when I felt the need to defend myself or others. I always described her as savage and admired her capability to remain strong through life’s challenges.
Also read: Confessions of a single mamma: Tough love
I am grateful that all three of my dear grandmothers had bonded with my sons, and as we grieve together, while still in the initial stages of shock, I remind them [my sons] that we need to look for the lessons in love that each of them have given us. It doesn’t make it better, but it helps us get through each day, together.
Share how you dealt with grief and some of the ways in which you helped your child deal with losing a loved one by emailing yoshinip@dbn.caxton.co.za.
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