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Contemporary neuroscientific studies are showing how our brain is a highly tuned survival machine. This means that the brain’s primary job is to keep us safe – both physically and emotionally.
Our brain operates on the principle of avoiding pain and seeking pleasure. So, our actions are influenced by this principle of avoiding threat or pain and seeking reward or pleasure.
From hunter-gatherer days, fathers (men) have always been providers and protectors of their families. Since then, a lot has changed economically, educationally and so on, and yet the same expectations still stand.
When a father can’t play their fatherly role, especially financially, they feel helpless and useless and as a result (reasoning and judgement are negatively affected), this automatically triggers a threat response that mostly leads to aggression.
Looking at the increasing numbers of anxiety, depression and suicide at our disposal, it is easy to see that emotional threat/pain is seriously getting worse.
Also suppressing your emotions has a big cognitive effect. It creates more damage to the brain and body than initially thought. As men, we have mastered the skill of suppressing our emotions just to look strong.
This emotional suppression, unfortunately, leads to aggression and abusive behaviour.