Help is on the way for addicts and their families
Do you need support and help with a family member who is a drug addict or abusive? Try TOUGHLOVE.
SPENDING a morning with a family who has nearly been devastated by drug addiction and sharing a bit of their journey has opened my eyes to the role that Toughlove can play in the rehabilitation process, not just of the addict but the whole family. In the words of the addict’s mom, “addiction is a family problem”.
Toughlove is the loving solution for many who don’t know which way to turn.
Desperate parents started Toughlove in South Africa in 1988. It is a self-help programme to support families dealing with a crisis such as drugs, alcohol or abuse of any kind. Thousands of families worldwide have been helped by this method and broken relationships restored.
The concept of Toughlove is grossly misunderstood by many people, who are under the impression that tough love only means “kicking” out your children who are drug addicts and damaging the relationship in the process.
It’s called Toughlove because it is tough on the parents or families that have to change. Many people think it is only the addict or abuser that needs to change, but the parent, partner and families have to change first. As people attend the meetings of Toughlove, they realise that their behaviour and reactions to the situation compound the problem, and they have to agree to change these patterns.
At the meetings members are never told what to do, but they are assisted to make the changes in their home that will ultimately start to change the behaviour of the troubled person. Don’t try and change someone else, rather focus on changing yourself and your reaction to the situation.
Toughlove is not run by professionals, but by family members who have practised the principles and have an abuser in the family. Group members have all been through or are still going through similar situations and can support one another. The substance or addiction may differ, but the behaviour of the addict follows a similar pattern.
Asking yourself honest question can assist in assessing your situation:
Has your loved one run away for a period of time?
Has your loved one been violent?
Has your loved one been tardy or absent from work of school?
Has your loved one been arrested or charged or involved in accidents?
Has your loved one come home late, stoned or not at all?
Do you believe a crisis may be developing or are you in a crisis already?
The Toughlove group stresses that there is no quick fix to this challenge, but attending meetings consistently will bear positive results in the long run.
The group meets once a week at Akeso Clinic in Clinton road and members are connected via WhatsApp groups. There is always someone to turn to in times of trouble.
For more information please contact John on 072 341 5455 or Debbie on 083 330 1378 or find us on www.toughlove.org.za
