Christmas jokes that will have you in stitches

Funny Christmas jokes are a key moment of the festive season.
Here are a bunch of the best jokes to keep you merry this Christmas.

What happens to elves when they behave naughty?
Santa gives them the sack.

What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap.

What is a snowman’s favourite breakfast?
Ice crispies.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no-body to go with.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.

What says ‘oh oh oh’?
Santa walking backwards.

What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish.

What do zombies eat with their Christmas dinner?
Grave-y.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa jaws.

What did one snowmen say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrot?

What is the best Christmas present?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it.

Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-alph.

Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?
He wanted to see time fly.

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia.

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho, ho, ho.

What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck?
A Christmas quacker.

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Ice burgers.

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles.

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas event calendar?
He got 25 days.

What is a skunk’s favourite Christmas song?
Jingle smells.

What is Santa’s dog’s name?
Santa Paws.

What falls at the North pole but never gets hurt?
Snow.

What never eats at Christmas dinner?
The turkey – it’s stuffed.

Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday?
At a ho-ho-ho-tel.

What do you call Frosty the snowman in May?
A puddle.

Did you know that Rudolph the reindeer never went to school?
He was elf taught.

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve.

What do snowmen usually wear on their heads?
Ice caps.

What is a librarian’s favourite Christmas song?
Silent night.

What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
An elfcicle.

How do you know Santa is good at karate?
He has a black belt.

What do you call an old snowman?
Water.

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet.

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing – it was on the house.

Where do snowmen keep money?
In a snow bank.

What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.

Why does everybody like Frosty the snowman?
Because he is so cool.

What do you call a cat on Christmas eve?
Sandy Claws.

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
Holly Davidson.