How I learned to improve my well-being from within
Caxton journalist Nonhlanhla talks about the adjustments she has made in her life to improve her mental well-being.
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INSIDE the world that is continuously unravelling in front of us, there is a complete world in each one of us. This world is the lens through which we see the world around us. This information was enough for me to realise that the most important thing is how I create the world inside of me. I will be taking you through the adjustments I made in my life to take care of this inner world. I was oblivious to how the small things in my world had an overall influence on the quality of not just my thoughts but how I experienced life.Â
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Journey to SelfÂ
All the other steps come from this first step of what I’d like to call the journey to self. We are born to our primary caregivers/parents who are supposed to guide us through life. We are given identity by them through our names and surnames. We grow up and create experiences, bad and good – our inner anatomy is created based on those experiences.Â
In one of the books I’ve read, Beyond Soul Mates by Cyndi Dale, she mentions that family is more than a collection of individuals; it is an emotional unit of its own that each member conforms to in order to survive. Some might have grown up in home environments where they were forced to conceal themselves and twist themselves into something they were not in order to survive. We further developed survival mechanisms. For me, identifying those survival mechanisms and working through them is the step I have been taking to find the way back to myself. Upon my journey, I discovered that one of my survival mechanisms was shyness. I am taking the time to learn why I feel like I need to hide parts of myself and to learn to accept them with love so I don’t have to worry about what the next person thinks. Discovering myself in this way has significantly changed the quality of my life and how I deal with any challenges. This birthed the next adjustments I made in my life from the beginning of this year.Â
Keeping a journalÂ
One of my survival mechanisms was racing negative thoughts, and while doing the emotional work, I discovered that this was my way of preventing harm that might come my way. My body couldn’t keep up, and I would lie on my bed the whole day sometimes – if I didn’t have somewhere to go – and drown in my own thoughts. I channelled this energy into writing my thoughts and trying to understand where those negative emotions came from and what it was that my true self was longing for. For example, I discovered that, in my frustration, I wanted ease and clarity. So in my journal, I write what I want and how that would make me feel. In this way, I am not neglecting my feelings but going downstream with them and finding what I want. This process has also taught me that the negative emotions are just the way our true selves communicate with us to get what we want. Dealing with them from this perspective propels me forward rather than me getting stuck in those emotions. Â
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Growing a plantÂ
I have a houseplant. I have taken the time to learn about maintaining the plant and have a set routine for how I water it and position it in places in my room where it can grow. It has been so satisfying to watch it grow for the past four months.Â
CleaningÂ
I thoroughly clean my room on a monthly basis. From washing my curtains and going through all corners with a damp cloth to rearranging my wardrobe. It leaves me feeling so content about where I live, and the fresh linen smell in my room is so satisfying. The feeling of satisfaction automatically transcends all the areas of my life. I swear, it feels like magic.Â
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Content consumption
I have limited the amount of news I consume. I have replaced listening to current affairs news shows with listening to the Spirit of Abraham Hicks podcast on YouTube. Starting my days by hearing about how I have come to this world to enjoy life with all the contrast it brings rather than hearing that my bills are about to go up – because the repo rate has gone up – has had a huge impact on how I show up for my day. Furthermore, I have discovered that when I pay less attention to the problems of this world, I’m giving the Universe a chance to fix them without me going through the emotional turmoil of fixing them.Â
The truth is, there is nothing we can do in our power to change the misfortunes of this world, but the power we have is in our reactions and thoughts. Taking the time to fix ourselves is a way more worthy job than trying to fix outside forces.Â
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