How to avoid comparison from stealing your joy
You know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Yet, that’s often easier said than done.
Comparison is generally the fast track to unhappiness or a recipe for misery. All it does is keeping you focused on what you don’t like about yourself and your life. Job title, income, grades, house, and Facebook or Instagram likes—the number of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others is infinite. So is the number of people we can compare ourselves to.
“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” – Shannon L. Alder
Here are 5 helpful guidelines to follow when you find yourself overwhelmed with the urge or need to compare yourself to others, according to y Maria Stenvinkel, of tinybuddha.com:
1. Water your own grass.
When we focus on other people, we lose time that we could otherwise invest in ourselves. We don’t grow green grass by focusing on our neighbour’s garden, we do it nurturing our own. So, instead of wasting time comparing your path to someone else’s, spend it investing, creating, and caring for your own.
2. Accept where you are.
You can’t change something you don’t acknowledge. So, instead of resisting or fighting where you are, come to peace with it. Say yes to every part of your life, and from that place, make decisions that will move you in the right direction.
3. Love your past.
Your life might have been messy and bumpy. It might have been coloured by mistakes, anxiety, and fear. I know mine has. But all those things were catalysts to help you become a better, wiser and more courageous version of yourself. So, embrace your story and how much you’ve grown from it. Be proud of what you’ve done and for wanting to create a better life for yourself.
4. Be grateful for what you have.
Oprah Winfrey once said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
Whenever you find yourself looking at what other people have, remind yourself of what you’re grateful for. For some it may be appreciating family, friends, and or even the fact that they are living in a peaceful country. So, shift focus from what you don’t have, to what you do have.
5. Turn comparison into inspiration.
We tend to compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else’s big moment. We tend to focus on their success, not on the thousands of hours they’ve spent preparing and working for their achievement. Instead of letting other people’s triumphs be a time to get down on yourself, let it be a door opener to possibilities. Let it be an inspiration for what you can be, do and have in life.
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