The partner sits bolt upright in bed “What the hell is that? Did you hear it?“ he demands as he elbows me in the side. “Did I hear what? It’s four in the morning and I’m losing out on my sleep thanks to you.” Silence as we lie there listening. And then it happened, Cock-a-friggen-doodle do’’ warbled through the silence.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals but the little seaside village I stay in is fast taking on George Orwell’s Animal Farm proportions. It all started two years ago when new neighbours moved in across the road and brought along their piggy – not potbellied, not miniature, but a full-on portly pig which patrols the fence, eyeballing our hairy hounds.
Now to put it into context we have four rescues, one female Staffie called Max who is a dithering old goat at the ripe age of 14, Boris an American Staffie with issues, Maddy an Africanis is prone to separation anxiety and Sherman, the English bulldog cross boerboel who at 14 months is a lumbering ox.
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The pig it seems also suffers from separation anxiety and is quite vocal about it which has our hounds totally mesmerised at the fence. But I digress, Fanus the cockerel and his two clucking wives have taken up residence along with our new neighbour in the house behind our property.
Now Fanus has taken it upon himself to strut his stuff up and down within mere metres of the boundary fence. Maddy and Sherman sit intently watching him like tennis match spectators from our side of the fence. Cock-a-friggen-doodle do yells Fanus, followed by a ‘wuuuuf’ from Maddie and a pool of drool from Sherman. This could go on for hours if we don’t intervene and Fanus loves it. We have tried shooing him away from the fence and putting the big dogs inside…which only leaves old Boris in the mix.
Fanus inevitably struts back to his stomping ground and lets rip but Boris it seems is wise to his ways. There they sit eyeballing one another, Fanus’s beady little eyes fixated on this new challenge as he works out a way to get a response. He has even tried sticking his scrawny head through the fence, Boris’s eyes lost focus for just a moment and I could have sworn there was a licking of the lips, but then sanity prevailed in this waiting game.
I don’t have the heart to tell our neighbour that Fanus and his clucking wives’ time is fast approaching as I caught Boris stealthily digging and prying the fence apart in the corner away from Fanus’s gaze the other day – one special at the doggy drive-thru, three for the price of one coming up soon.
Ahhh I’m so looking forward to a night of uninterrupted sleep.
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