What’s the Rush? Cutting it fine

"Women enjoy going to the salon, but for men, it's an ordeal, definite evidence witnessed in that barbershop."

My boy was in urgent need of a haircut recently. I was waiting for a call from the school, but they probably figured we’d get it sorted out soon enough.

Anyway, it was off to the barber last Sunday.

When we got there, we had to wait a bit, as two gents were getting haircuts.

Actually, one looked like he was getting more than he had bargained for.

He was lying back in the chair, two earbuds (or something similar) up his nostrils and the barber wielding his blade like a master swordsman.

His command of the scissors, tweezers and other sharp cutting instruments was impressive, his command of the English language, at best, limited.

Women enjoy going to the salon, but for men, it’s an ordeal, definite evidence witnessed in that barbershop.

This was quite a trim – head, nose, ears, eyebrows. It takes a certain amount of courage and trust to let someone whose name you probably don’t know do that to you.

The earbuds stuck up his nose must have been burning like crazy because he was making some snorting noises.

Not too loud to show any signs of panic, but loud enough to show some discomfort.

Could he breathe properly? I wasn’t sure, but I was watching closely.

When the barber asked if I was next, I immediately and urgently shook my head.

The man in the chair looked like a short guy, lying back in the chair, eyes fixed on the mirror, the occasional glance across to his wife and young daughters.

At first, the girls watched in wide-eyed fascination… then started giggling as they saw their Dad suffering.

Finally, the earbuds were plucked out of his nose, followed by something whipped out of his ear.

It was so fast I couldn’t quite see if it was from inside the ear or across the top.

Heard the wife say: ‘Don’t forget to trim the eyebrows’.

Anyway, eventually, it was over, and the result was impressive. Credit to the barber and respect to the clean-cut fellow, who seemed to climb out of the chair forever.

He was really tall.

Anyway, my focus was soon elsewhere when the barber looked at me and pointed to the chair. “Um, no thanks, maybe next time,” I said, my nose hairs twitching.

“You cut hair at home?” he suggested. How did he know?
Maybe the step my wife cut across and around the back, leaving the remnants of better days on top, gave it away.
Probably not the best idea to cut hair shortly before the Springboks are about to play.

Ah, the Boks… fluffed it, I’d say, against the Irish, where 2-0 would have settled certain debates about who’s number one instead of 1-1.

Anyway, the Rugby Championship is around the corner, that should be fun.

Parting shot:
Why do koi fish travel in groups of four? To protect the group from predators. When attacked, kois A, B, and C will go in one direction. The fourth one is the D koi.

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