Come on, cobbers, give credit where credit is due. It takes a brave bloke indeed to scratch his ‘goolies’ with the eyes of the world watching.
Never mind all those good-looking ‘Sheilas’ in the stands.
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Let’s face it, Aussie cricketer Cameron Bancroft has now made history, trying to hide a small patch of yellow sandpaper down his ‘daks’ (Aussie slang for trousers) while scores of cameras zoomed in.
Crikey! Strewth! What a dingbat! More eyes focused on his crotch than when Sharon Stone crossed her legs for Michael Douglas in the movie Basic Instinct.
It will go down in the annuls of cricket as that infamous ‘testes’ match between South Africa and Australia.
Some of the chirps on social media were just priceless. There was even one that suggested the Aussies were sponsored by a well-known local hardware chain store. When Bancroft stripped, they also found a saw, duct tape and various other DIY items in his underpants. Then someone tried to excuse the action by saying that Bancroft’s legal team wanted to argue that he was ‘just trying to get De Kock’ out’.
In years to come, nobody will even remember that the Proteas actually won by a wide margin, but Bancroft’s ball tampering will be difficult to forget.
No doubt there will be stiff action ‘down under’ in more ways than one, not only for Bancroft’s alleged cheating, but now sports channels might also have to place an age restriction on televised cricket matches.
After all, these guys are sports idols to many, even my three-year-old grandson who is already displaying great skills with bat, club and ball.
We bought him a special kiddies’ golf club for his birthday and he hits fewer ‘freshies’ than his grandpa. However, watching him in action this past weekend, he had this curious ritual of first tapping the golf club on the ground a few times before each swing.
Only when his dad and I were watching the Proteas-Australia test afterwards did it click. He was actually copying the cricketers doing the same thing with their bat when on strike.
It remains to be seen whether he will mimic Bancroft, but now it’s going to be tough convincing him that fiddling with his nether regions is not quite, well, cricket… or proper in any ball sport where there are spectators. Unless done in private in the change rooms, of course.
Or playing ‘pocket marbles’, as boys (and obviously Bancroft) are inclined to do.
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