Doping really seems to be a HUGE problem in the international arena these days, even when it comes to that heart-stopping sport of… ‘curling’
Who would have believed it?
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Russian curler Alexander Krushelnitsky was stripped of his bronze medal in the recent Winter Olympics in South Korea after he was tested positive for the drug meldonium, which is used to treat angina.
Perfectly understandable, as the drug probably gave him the edge with his curling broom, frantically sweeping a path on the ‘ice sheet’ as the ‘rock’ inched towards the target in slow motion. He must have been close to heart failure with the many curling fans in the stands screaming wildly with excitement.
We can safely assume his mixed doubles partner, wife Anastasia, gave him the cold shoulder that night after being disqualified as well.
Anyone who hasn’t watched the rather curious sport of curling, it’s akin to playing bowls on ice.
The sport apparently originated in Scotland and dates back to the early 16th century. It was introduced to the Winter Olympics in 1998. It is said to be ‘very strategic’, hence the nickname ‘chess on ice’.
The South Coast is lucky to be blessed with some really hotshot bowlers who would probably do well at curling if they didn’t live in the tropics. Alas, the only ice they know goes into their Scotch.
However, doping cops might be a bit biased against them as many bowlers probably survive on heart medication already. As the saying goes: ‘Old bowlers never die. They just don’t score as often’.
Local golfers will also have a problem as they are known to take ‘relaxatives’ before a game.
For example, Nomads golfers have this tradition of serving whisky and milk before they tee off.
Talk about drinking and driving!
One can’t help thinking that sports’ bodies are fighting a losing battle against doping. Where there’s money, there’s always going to be a way and performance-enhancing drugs get more and more difficult to detect.
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Maybe the Russians had the right idea by actually sponsoring dope for their athletes, although the Winter Olympics committee didn’t agree and the country as a whole was banned from the event.
Then there’s the Tour de Farce, where it is said ‘the only cyclists who don’t use dope… are at the back’.
If you can’t beat ’em, join them. Let professional sportsmen go wild and do whatever it takes to go faster and faster.
“And the gold medal goes to… aspirin!”
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