Let’s go on holiday to the coast! Some lighthearted humour, not intended to offend. This was the Easter weekend in a nutshell:
“It’s like, woohoo, an extra 48 hours off! Let’s pack everything we own, 17 kids, the canoe, the braaistand, enough food to feed the whole of SA for a month, the bikes, the dog, motorboat, jetski, 18 fishing rods and grandparents in the four-ton Land Cruiser we don’t know how to drive.
Then we’ll leave early to beat the traffic, 10km out of town. Every other family with a booking at the dam or Durban has the same idea. Oh well, never mind, nothing like seven hours in a traffic jam with screaming bored kids fighting over the DVD player and mashing Chappies on the carpet while singing ‘Let it Go’, out of tune, for the 19th time.
Some 11.5 hours from home you’ve covered 43.6km and your cheese is about to slide off your cracker, so you pull into the Ultra City packed with 9 753 other equally frustrated families, park sideways across six bays in the truck section because you know the Hilux or Land Cruiser with the trailer and boat won’t fit in the normal bay.
Everyone piles out of the van trying hard to ignore the cold stares from the guy trying to park his superlink in the truck parking, send the kids to line up at Mcdonald’s for 57 minutes, still have no clue what they want by the time you reach the counter, only to find they want ice cream and the machine is out of order.
It doesn’t matter what the kids order anyway because 11 minutes later the wrappers are floating across the carpark, the cold Coke is on the leather seats and the nine-year-old has tomato sauce in her hair and having a shouting match with the other frustrated siblings about who was supposed to sit in the middle and near the door while trying to reason with the seven-year-old who refuses to sit forward or put his seat belt on.
Some 25.8 hours after leaving home you reach the fishing spot or holiday accommodation only to discover no spots left within 17km of the beach or a toilet, so you set up camp nowhere near the neighbours who promised to hold a spot for you. You spend the next day-and-a-half listening to frustrated parents yelling, ‘Kids stop fighting’ and mumbling to your mates around the campfire about ‘serenity’ and ‘the good life’.
By Monday at 07:00, you’re thinking prison food can’t be that bad or if I just bury them deep enough nobody will find them while trying to get a decent breakfast before packing for the trip home. You decide to leave early and beat the traffic while visions of the 23-hour journey down here flash through your head.
So you pack the whole shebang back into the now mobile eatery along with the wet dog and sunburnt kids whining ‘We’re hungry’, pull out onto the packed highway, stop at the garage to appease the brats. Then fill up diesel and head home with the thousand other drivers thinking how much nicer it would have been to stay home and enjoy the weekend in the peace and quiet of your home.” – Author unknown.
A reminder about the kickboxing athletes representing KZN at the South African championships in April. A team of eight will compete for gold. Your backing will help cover the entry fee, accommodation and other expenses. For further information contact Malcolm Vincent on 073 6670260.
Upcoming events:
April 6: The Rec Club Market day at Relton Hall, Pennington from 09:00 to 12:00.
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