Covid-19 has given rise to many issues in our fractured country, but one of the terms I heard more recently is ‘decision fatigue’.
It is a social psychology concept from Roy F. Baumeister. As soon as I heard the phrase, something clicked in my tired brain. Yes, that’s me. I know exactly how it feels to not feel like ‘adulting’ anymore.
It’s a very logical idea when you break it down scientifically, but it doesn’t feel that way when you’re in the moment. It can be overwhelming when there are children, a boss, a friend, your spouse, and others demanding decisions from you when all you need is to switch off for a while.
Parents understand this intimately with questions all day long and “minor” decisions about “Where should I put this?”, “What shall we cook?”, “What are we going to do in the next hour?”, and so many decisions that take up our bandwidth.
When my first child was born, I felt this decision-making fatigue acutely. I was exhausted, so it was already difficult to think about normal daily decisions like what to eat or wear.
It was like I suddenly had to make every decision on behalf of my baby (and get it right) while trying to remember how to keep myself alive.
My struggles led to tension with my spouse as I reacted badly to him asking me to choose a mug or a place to sit. I didn’t care. I didn’t have the capacity to care about a mug when I had already decided every last detail for the day and night about my baby’s outfits, socks, nappy bag contents, activities, blankets, curtain position, feed time, naps, bottles, toys, lying position, bath time, hat, and teething or pain medication.
These days, I understand myself better and I am ready for the inevitable fatigue. When my brain is tired or my body is hungry or cold, I’m not functioning at optimum levels to make important decisions. It’s okay to take a break, but there are also effective ways to manage the tension so that you don’t need hours to recover your senses.
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Search ‘decision fatigue’ and you’ll see countless videos on how to deal with it. A common tip is to regulate decision-making. For example, make a smaller decision like what to have for tea, followed by a break. Then, come back to a major event, like whether to extend your home loan.
I have found that awareness of my decision fatigue is the first step to managing it well. As I start to feel overwhelmed, I check myself. Am I hungry, cold, or tired? Do I need to put this decision on hold or delegate it? Can I change my attitude right now or do I need to take a walk outside?
Adulting is hard sometimes, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Do you need to decide how to move forward after a pandemic? Do it when you’re fed, rested, and relaxed.
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