Sue’s Views: Count to 10 and slowly exhale
Dear Universe, All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. New members need no longer apply. Thank you.
What is it about this time of year that brings out the worst in people? Could it be 11 months of plastering a smile on your face when confronted with the eejits out there that has worn thin or is it just the ‘silly season’ where it’s everyone for themselves?
In my case, it’s definitely the former. I try, I really do, but when confronted with people who have taken their daily dose of idiot juice I find my self-control slipping.
So what is it that gets my goat and in the process raises my blood pressure? Here are but some of the little gems that make my life a misery.
Coming in at number four has to be the halfwits who take to the ATMs to do their six hours of banking on payday, or those that believe the message that bleeps ‘insufficient funds’ means try another 20 times, just in case the money magically appears in your account. There they are tapping away at the machine, apparently oblivious to the fast-growing, snaking queue of fidgety people. The worst, however, are those who pause and ponder over the keypad. Push the button…dweep…..pause…..ponder…..push the button….. dweep….pause….ponder. God help us…we are going to be here a while, as they are only two digits into their password and five minutes have gone by.
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Up at number three are the speed muppets on our roads. There they are tailgating you in the single lane on the highway between Shelly Beach and Port Shepstone. So close you can see the whites of their eyeballs. They can’t overtake due to the barrier, so they try to force you over the yellow lines on the side to let them by. Nope, not happening – I pay good money to be on this toll road. The best though is when they screech off at the Port Shepstone offramp and wend and weave their way dangerously through the traffic, only for you to catch up with them at the traffic lights.
Next up are those people (you know exactly who you are) who persist in queue jumping, as they claim a friend kept a spot for them or better yet they brazenly stomp to the front of the queue, looking neither left nor right, for they know they are in the wrong. When an outcry ensues they pretend they had no idea that 15 people were waiting in front of them. And don’t get me started on the ‘death breath’ individuals who invade your personal space from behind. There they are with their minging breath snorting and snuffling in your ears as they attempt to body morph you.
The list is endless, but the one that irks me the most is those who jump on the bandwagon for the latest Facebook cause. Think of all those plonkers who threw a bucket of ice water over their heads, took videos and spammed your feed, all in the name of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. A great cause to support, but the whole point of the challenge was to donate money to the ALS Association if you took up the challenge. Did they donate? Did they hell, but what they did achieve was to make a twit of themselves and have my finger hover over the unfriend button.
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