WHAT SAYETH THE LORD
Premarital counselling is an essential process for all couples, irrespective of how well couples might think they know each other or how happy they are in their relationship. It is unfortunate that many couples run to the alter without undergoing this crucial process.

Many people think that the only purpose of premarital counselling is to prepare couples for marriage and the challenges that come with it. I believe that the main purpose of premarital counselling is to empower the couple to make an informed decision as to whether they still want to proceed with the marriage after the discoveries they make about each other and what marriage really entails, during the premarital counselling sessions. Marriage is a covenant and must not be entered into hastily but thoughtfully and prayerfully. Therefore the pastor or whoever the counsellor may be must never rush the process of premarital counselling. It really defeats the purpose to do premarital counselling just days or hours before the wedding. I strongly recommend a period of at least six months or a year before the wedding. Premarital counselling is a process and must not be circumvented in any way. Shortcuts lead to destruction.

Experience as a pastor, marriage counsellor and marriage officer has taught me that, I should if all possible conduct these sessions even before the labola (dowry) is paid because once the labola is paid couples are concerned about what people will say should they not continue with the wedding. Couples should remember that it is not about the wedding but it is about the marriage. The sustainability and success of the marriage is more important than pleasing friends and relatives.

One of the reasons for premarital counselling is to prevent divorce later in marriage. It would be better not to continue with the marriage before it starts than to divorce when you are already married. God hates divorce. Common reasons for divorce are infidelity, finances and communication and these amongst others are some of the topics discussed during pre-marital counselling. Premarital counselling will help couples to discover what they individually believe about these topics and other issues, so that they agree before the walk down the aisle.

Scripture:

{Amos 3:3} “Can two walk together, unless they agreed?”

Advise:

I would like to advise Christian couples to choose their pre-marital counsellor carefully. The pastor or counsellor must be doctrinally sound and successful in his or her own marriage and family relationships. It must also be someone who has the necessary experience. My advice to pastors who are Marriage Officer is that they should recommend premarital counselling to couples before they agree to officiate the ceremony even if the counselling may be done by another pastor or counsellor.

Prayer:

Father, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I pray for all those who are about to get married, that you may teach them that marriage not merely two people living with each but that it is a covenant. I pray that as they enter into this holy tension, that they will not expect from each other that perfection that belongs to you alone. May they minimize each other’s weakness and that they may bear with one another. May they be quick to praise and magnify each other’s areas of strength. I pray that they will always love one another and also be kind to one another at all times. May you bless them and may you develop their characters as they walk together. Most importantly I pray that they may serve you together and grow together spiritually. This I pray and ask in the name of Jesus Christ, great lover of our souls.

Pastor T.L Mashiloane has been married for 20 years. He is the Presiding Pastor of two Full Gospel Church assemblies, City of Love & Restoration in Sasolburg and Faith Tabernacle in Viljoenskroon.

For further advice and counselling contact Pastor Mashiloane on 082 579 4595