What sayeth the Lord about sickness in marriages?
The Bible in Roman 8:28 says “all things work together for good to those who love God and who are called accordingly to His purpose”.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Sickness is one of the challenges of life which test and reveal how much or how little parties in a marriage love one another. When we make vows on the wedding day one of the things we say is “in sickness and in health”. However when sickness strikes many forget the vows they once made. I know of husbands who literally left their wives when they were diagnosed with a life threatening disease.
I must admit that spousal care-giving can be stressful and difficult. I know this because my own wife was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer in 2014 and for a period of three years she had to undergo treatment which included chemotherapy, a mastectomy and radiation. During this period I had added responsibilities as I to be a “nurse” to my wife and a “mother” to our children. During a time of sickness, the spouse may develop feelings of hopelessness and depression. One may also feel like a burden on the care-giving spouse. It is therefore important for the care-giving spouse to also give emotional and spiritual support to prevent the disease from spreading into the marriage.
The Bible in Roman 8:28 says “all things work together for good to those who love God and who are called accordingly to His purpose”.
One thing I have learnt is that challenging times can strengthen a marriage. My personal experience is that the sickness brought us closer together than ever before. “The devil meant evil against us but, God meant it for good”. Good times are never a test of love and commitment in marriage, but sickness and hardship will definitely test the strength of a marriage.
Advise:
It is very important for spousal caregivers to show empathy towards their sick spouses and to reassure them that they care about them. Tell your spouse that you don’t like to see him or her suffering and that you are there for them every step of the way. Your empathetic words and deeds will give your spouse hope and encouragement.
It is important to have more forbearance during your spouse’s sickness because sickness can also make them very moody especially women. What helped me a lot was to read as much as I could about breast cancer. It really helps when a spousal caregiver has information about their partner’s condition, treatment and side-effects. It also helps to support your spouse by accompanying him/her during doctor’s appointments and actually ask questions. Most importantly, pray with and for each other. God hears and answers prayer.
Prayer:
Father, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I come before you once again, standing in the gap for married couples. I pray that you heal those who are sick and restore them to good health. Lord I also pray for those who are taking care of their spouses during their period of sickness that you will strengthen them and grant them wisdom and a spirit of forbearance. Bless them Lord and give them the desires of their hearts. I declare that what you have put together, no sickness shall put them under. In the name of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
Rev T.L Mashiloane has been married for 20 years. He is the Presiding Pastor of two Full Gospel Church assemblies, City of Love & Restoration in Sasolburg and Faith Tabernacle in Viljoenskroon. He is also the Chairperson of HospiVision. (www.hospivision.org.za). For further advise and counselling, please contact Rev Mashiloane on 082 579 4595 / revmashiloane@gmail.com
