Discussion between bully and the bullied at Redhill School
Bryan Schimmel and Clinton Fein who had known each other four decades ago share their expierence on how bullying has impacted their lives from both perspectives of a victim and the oppressor.
Would one be friends with their high school bully after years of facing pain and trauma?
The answer seems simple enough to most, but in one case, a victim of bullying found it in himself to forgive his oppressor and ended up doing the unthinkable to break the cycle for others.
Bryan Schimmel and Clinton Fein recently visited Redhill School to share an important topic with the learners centred on the impacts of bullying from both the prospective of the victim and the oppressor.
The pair shared how their worlds had collided and changed forever.
Schimmel, who had always been a soft-spoken individual growing up, had his first encounter with Fein during his high school days at King David High School four decades ago. Admired and adored by his school friends, Fein had a dark side to him in the form of picking fights to remain dominant in the public eye.
“When I transferred to King David, I wanted to stand out as ‘the man’,” admitted Fein. “I played rugby which was a big thing in our school and I dated beautiful girls to gain the status of being popular. I was envied by a lot of people and one of them was Bryan despite not having times of engagement. I would punch him on days where I felt angry, especially about myself and call him all sorts of names to hide something deeply rooted in me.”
He said he expressed his hidden emotions by picking fights, participating in sports, and by dating beautiful girls but at the same time he felt attracted to the same sex and felt ashamed as it was not accepted by his community
According to Fein, he saw something in Schimmel that he admired but disliked at the same time.
Five years of torture for Schimmel reached its conclusion when one of the prefects requested Fein to stop but the damage had already been done. Both graduated and worked towards building their future but they made contact again in 2009.
“Fein requested to be friends on Facebook which I accepted but I was not ready to talk,” said Schimmel.
“Years passed and one of my high school friends who knew Fein suggested to me that we should talk. I was ready and that was back in 2019. We met at Tashas in Morningside and discussed everything. We found out that we had similar interests and one of them was liking men. He sincerely apologised to me and I forgave him.”
The pair came up with a great idea after realising that many individuals, especially children, often faced the same unfortunate scenario and decided to share their journey with others through their ‘fear and freedom’ discussion.
After sharing their story with the learners, more than 10 brave learners shared their experiences with their peers and asked questions directed to Fein and Schimmel.
“I gained a lot of inspiration on how they were so open about their identity and the willingness to teach others through their experiences. I don’t believe that people are inherently good or bad, but bullying is never okay and it’s a split process of solving the problem,” said learner Roma Singh.
The pair urged learners to protect others rather than to torture them and encouraged them to talk to someone who they trusted when dealing with something sensitive.
Related Article:
https://www.citizen.co.za/sandton-chronicle/325957/australia-focus-on-a-win-against-usa-in-the-icc-u19s-womens-t20-world-cup-2023-2/
