Male abuse is more prevalent than you think
JOBURG - Campaigns against intimate partner violence, 16 days of activism for no violence against women, and countless other excellent campaigns against gender-based violence are launched and continue to garner support every year in South Africa.
Each week there are countless articles written about the abuse of women and children, there are pleas made to parliament and government, both national and local, and loud voices are raised about ending the scourge of gender-based violence. This is an issue that all of us should not only support but actively participate in eradicating.
The one group that gets marginalised, in terms of pleas for support, are men. The perception is that men are the perpetrators of these crimes against women and children, which indirectly means that men don’t need to be protected, while women and children need to be protected against them.
The sad truth is this thinking perpetuates the idea that men as a group aren’t at risk, they are the perpetrators and not the victims. If they are the wrongdoers then they can’t be wronged.
This enforces the stereotype that men can’t be raped. If a man can’t be raped and a sexual incident occurs, there is nothing to report to the police. Men only have sex when they want to. Remember, a man can’t be forced to have sex. Well, society has it wrong. End of story.
It is reported that one in five men in South Africa is a victim of sexual abuse, be it when they are children or adults. Men are victims of gender-based violence from both men and women.
What’s the difference between male and female victims of sexual abuse and violence, you ask? NONE. Except that men are less likely to report the crime. If the one in five statistic is based on reported sexual crimes against men, take a moment to consider what the real number must be.
It is time for us as a country to stand up and shout a resounding no to any abuse of any man, woman or child. These crimes are heinous, regardless of who the victim is. Separating victims into categories only reinforces the stigma. Abuse is abuse, rape is rape and NO must mean NO.
If you are a victim of sexual abuse you can contact South African Male Survivors Of Sexual Abuse on 071 280 9918 or Matrix Men on 078 457 4911.
Garry Hertzberg is a practicing attorney at Dewey Hertzberg Levy attorneys, and the host of The Laws of Life on cliffcentral.com
