How to cope with grief and loss during a pandemic
SANDTON – Hosking said that it is essential for people to mourn after any loss in order to find closure and peace.
Clinical psychologist Funyanwa Pukwana encourages people to be gentle with themselves when processing grief.
Pukwana, alongside social worker Megan Hosking discussed how to cope with grief and loss during a pandemic through a Facebook Live event for the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) recently.
Sadag representative Senzekile Shongwe began the discussion by reassuring members of the public that it was okay to take time to grieve.
Hosking described grief as a dramatic upheaval as people adapt following a loss. The loss can be that of a person, a relationship, a pet, a job or a variety of other things.
“Grief is personal and each person experiences it differently,” said Hosking. “We often don’t realise how long it takes to grieve and there is so much pressure from society to be okay quickly.”
Pukwana explained that during the Covid-19 pandemic, people experienced anticipatory grief.
“This is the process when something has happened and we are waiting for the fall-out.”
“Right now we are going through something that we have never experienced before. It has shaken the world and we are like sitting ducks – waiting on our anxiety to see how much we are going to lose. We wonder when we will get back to normal,” said Pukwana, adding that this was an uncomfortable process because it was not in alignment with how we usually developed.
Hosking said it was essential for people to mourn after any loss to find closure and peace.
She added that while culture or religion helped to guide individuals on how they should mourn, it was also helpful to recognise the cultural expectations and how they could differ from your personal experience of grief.
The end goal, according to Hosking, is to gain a healthy level of functioning following the loss.
The speakers discussed the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. People can move through these stages at various paces and jump around the various stages as they are triggered by circumstances, for example, an anniversary following a death.
Hosking advised locals to support loved ones going through grief by being present, taking cues from the person experiencing the loss on how to proceed, offering practical help and following up often.
“Don’t judge yourself based on how others are grieving. It is your process,” concluded Hosking.
Locals are encouraged to contact Sadag on their 24-hour helpline 080 056 7567.
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