Inspirational women unpack their stories of loss and survival
JOBURG – Letshego Zulu, Ndileka Mandela and Gabi Lowe discussed how they managed to cope after losing their loved ones.
Three remarkable women shared stories of great loss and how hope triumphed over despair in their life at a discussion session titled Life Reclaimed, at the South African Book Fair on 7 September.
During a discussion facilitated by journalist Karabo Kgoleng, Letshego Zulu (wife of the late racing driver Gugu Zulu), Gabi Lowe (mother of the late Jenna Lowe who was known for her Get Me to 21 campaign) and Ndileka Mandela (eldest granddaughter of Nelson Mandela) shared how they managed to cope and move on following the passing of their loved ones.
Mandela described her time of grief as tough because it was public due to her grandfather’s public persona. “It was tough because I saw him at his strongest and at his weakest. Seeing this strong man disintegrate before my eyes was gut-wrenching. I prayed that he would go and be at peace,” said Mandela.
She explained that her grandfather, who was like a father to her, prepared the family well for his death. “The fact that his death was not a private matter made it difficult for us as a family. When I got off a plane, his face was on billboards. It was also difficult in the years before he died because the media would spread malicious lies about him being dead already.”
Kgoleng contrasted this very public loss of the father of our nation, who was 95 when he died, with the losses experienced by Zulu and Lowe, who lost their loved ones early in life.
Gugu Zulu died while summiting Mount Kilimanjaro in 2016. Letshego described her journey after Gugu’s death as a roller-coaster ride.
“You don’t forget,” she said. “You learn to accept and live with it. Going back to Mount Kilimanjaro didn’t bring me closure but gave me a sense of completion and ability to live life to the full, like Gugu did. I chose to live after hearing the story of another woman who also lost her husband on the climb.”
Lowe’s daughter Jenna died at the age of 20 after being diagnosed with a rare disease known as pulmonary arterial hypertension and receiving a lung transplant.
“You can’t ignore the grief and pain. You have to honour it and move on. I felt that I could move on by continuing Jenna’s work through the Jenna Lowe Trust. It means that the death does not become a senseless loss,” said Lowe.
“It was most difficult for me when I had to hear Jenna say, ‘I don’t know if I’m preparing to live or die’ before her transplant.”
Jenna experienced 187 brutal days in ICU after the transplant. “Only once I processed the trauma, could I try to breathe. My biggest cathartic moment was writing this book for nine months.”
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