Here are a few short jokes to start your Friday morning off:
- I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
- A man goes to the doctor, concerned about his wife’s hearing. The doctor says, “Stand behind her and say something and tell me how close you are when she hears you.”The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen, cutting carrots on the countertop. About 15 feet away he says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Nothing. He gets halfway to her and repeats the same question. Nothing. Very concerned, he gets right behind her and asks again “What’s for dinner?”
She turns around and says “For the THIRD time, beef stew!”
- Wife: “Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”
Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.” - My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.
- An elderly couple had been shopping at a grocery store, and the wife decided to steal a can of peaches. The inevitable happened and she was caught. Upon her court date, the judge asked her what she had stolen.”Your Honor, I stole a can of peaches.”
The judge replied, “How many peaches were in the can?”
She said, “Six.”
The judge then said, “I will sentence you to six days in jail.”
Her husband stood up behind her and replied, “Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas.”
Your weather forecast for today:
A minimum of 18°C and a maximum of 29°C
Turning cloudy with a thunderstorm in the afternoon
Sunrise: 5:57 AM
Sunset: 6:46 PM
Weather update by AccuWeather
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