Handy tips for growing old

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is voluntary, or so the wise old(er) people say.

But growing old(er) is definitely not for sissies. I am not that old and still think the way a teenager does, although on a few occasions my body has objected to things I wanted to, or thought I could still do.

With this in mind, here is a list of nine important facts we need to remember as we grow older.

Number 9 – Death is the number-one killer in the world.

Number 8 – Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 – Give a person a fish and you feed him/ her for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 – In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

… and as someone recently said to me, don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.

Remember, nobody gets out of this alive, so have fun, go to places you’ve never been before, do the things you have always dreamt of doing and don’t forget to love and care for others.

Thank you Jana for keeping me updated with your little garden. I am happy to report that I can see almost four seedlings rearing their heads and I am super-excited.

Until next week, take care of one another.

Ciao