During this past week I had an opportunity to sit and think about some of the most difficult things in life we have to face, and, to be honest, quite a few things went through my mind.
The thing that stuck in my mind, was how hard it is to let go in life, especially if you really just want to hold on. And, during the past seven months, this was a very hard and real lesson I had to learn, every single day.
It is so difficult for a parent to be comfortable to let go of their children, and allow them to go out in the big, bad world. I read a quote that hit close to home and made me think, “Being a good parent is knowing when to push and when to back off. When to help and when to let them make mistakes and then being strong enough to watch them go.”
I am a mother of two (almost) adult daughters whom I adore and love with my whole heart. My husband and I have always tried to be the best parents we could, ensuring they are well taken care of and, everything we do, has been in their best interests, to ensure that, when the time came, they would be able to hold their own in the grown-up world, and become responsible and well-adjusted adults.
But, when the time came for my eldest to spread her wings, this mother realised just how badly prepared I was to cope with the new situation. I had to put my money where my mouth was, and had to step back, to let her go out into the world and discover her own destiny, and, the most difficult thing was, I had to trust in the upbringing she received from us.
During this time, we, as parents, had to learn to take a step back, and give our grown child the opportunity to grow up; a difficult thing to do, especially considering the fact that we still see her as one of our babies.
We had to learn how to listen to her when she wanted to talk, we had to learn how to allow her to make a decision and deal with the consequences (without our help) and we also had to learn to allow her how to deal with these consequences and solve them, all on her own.
But, we also had the opportunity to show her that, even though she is not our baby anymore, we could still be there for her, support her and offer her our assistance, without her having to give up her new-found independence.
This made me realise that the following words from the Dalai Lama, are something we as parents can live by, “Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay”.
Until next week, stay safe, stay healthy and look out for each other …
