2018 had barely started – it was only March – when a recurring phrase kept popping up in my conversations with friends and strangers alike – “2018 has been my worst year yet”.
And I know, every year we hear people say things like, “This has been my worst year,” or, “I hope next year is going to be better”. It’s almost par for the course at the end of a year, when everybody is tired, to express sentiments describing your annus horribilis. But this year, I saw an almost empty, traumatised look in people’s eyes when they told me this, as if it was not a cliché as in years gone by. Instead, people seemed to have experienced real drudgery that left them scarred. And I was no exception. This is not a platform to discuss my private life, so suffice it to say I had to fight soul-sucking battles on all fronts – emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, you name it. And until recently, I too was part of the blank-faced Zombie army who felt that 2018’s toll was too heavy a price to pay. That was until this past Monday.
To hell with this, I thought. I know full well that one cannot change the past, but I decided that as per the poet Dylan Thomas’ instructions I will “not go gentle into that good night” but will “Rage, rage against the dying of the light. . .”. I will bomb the past. At least, I will bomb 2018. But how will I do that?
First of all, I will not be a victim. I will painstakingly, and no matter how painfully, dissect every single one of the events that hurt so much. I will learn from them, taking the lessons to heart. I will forgive those who caused me pain and in that process set myself free from the paralysing prison of bitterness. With a surgeon’s scalpel I will remove toxic people and toxic thinking before the clock strikes 12 on 31 December. And before I welcome 2019, I will solemnly make a conscious decision that I will look 2019 straight in the eye and make it my year. I will travel lightly, and alone if need be, but I will be clear about my goals and sure of where I want to be spiritually and emotionally. I will not allow 2019 to “happen to me”.
On that note, I thank you for your support. I wish you and your families all that is beautiful and good for the new year.
And if you see me wrestling with 2019? Please jump in and help 2019 (cos it’s gonna be taking strain).
Do you perhaps have more information pertaining to this story? Email us at roodepoortrecord@caxton.co.za (remember to include your contact details) or phone us on 011 955 1130.
For free daily local news on the West Rand, also visit our sister newspaper websites
Remember to visit our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages to let your voice be heard!
