The effects of a global pandemic and resulting job losses have resulted in some of the highest cases of depression and suicide among this generation. The advent and dependency on technology also means children are more susceptible to cyberbullying. Threats and humiliation exist beyond the school grounds and can reach children and teens via social media, text message chains, online chatrooms and emails.
According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), our cyberbullying rate is 24 per cent which places us in the fourth position in the world regarding deaths among teenagers and adolescents. Suicide is currently the third largest cause of unnatural death in the country. The internet and social media have definitely made it easier for bullies to hide behind avatars when harassing others online. Unlike school, the internet does not have a schedule and bullies can torment their victims 24 hours a day with no place of safety.
Teenagers are often moody and thus reluctant to talk to their parents or friends, but there are certain warning signs or changes in behaviour parents and guardians can look out for.
• Becoming sad, angry or distressed during or after the internet
• Being anxious whenever they receive a notification on their phone
• Avoiding discussions and being secretive about cell phone or computer use
• Withdrawing from family, friends and activities they previously enjoyed
• Mood swings or changes in behaviour, showing signs of depression or anxiety
The South African Police Service advise parents to monitor their children’s internet use with a few simple adjustments. These include keeping the computer in a common area in the house. If the children have their own computer, you can install tracking software that blocks inappropriate content. Encourage your children to tell you or a trusted adult if they receive threatening messages, and always reassure and encourage them to open up to you.
How does one react, however, when it is YOUR child that is being a bully online? First, try talking to your child to find out the motive behind their behaviour. People who are hurt, or have been hurt in the past, tend to hurt people. If that doesn’t work, talk to a professional about helping your child learn to cope with feelings of anger, hurt or frustration.
Tips for parents dealing with a cyberbully
Educate your child about cyberbullying. Your children may not understand how hurtful or damaging their behaviour can be. Foster empathy and awareness by encouraging your child to look at their actions from the victim’s perspective. Remind your child that cyberbullying can have very serious legal consequences.
Set limits with technology. Let your children know that you will be monitoring their use of computers, tablets, smartphones, email and text messaging. If necessary, remove access to technology until their behaviour improves.
Establish consistent rules of behaviour. Make sure your child understands your rules and the punishment for breaking them. Children may not think they need discipline, but a lack of boundaries sends a signal that the child is unworthy of the parents’ time, care and attention.
