Loss is never easy to deal with, no matter who you lose. One of the most tragic and devastating losses is the loss of a child. No parent ever expects to, nor wants to, outlive their child but we cannot control everything. Sometimes life throws things at us that we do not understand.
Whether you are prepared for it or not, there is no easy way to deal with your child’s death, and even if you are prepared, that doesn’t make the loss less painful.
Everyone grieves in different ways and at different paces, and sometimes the lack of support can slow someone down from moving on. Other times, people don’t move on because they aren’t sure if they are ready, or because they don’t want to feel like they have forgotten.
Losing a child is such a traumatic experience, and you may feel that someone who hasn’t gone through it will never fully understand what you are experiencing. That is the case for Thembisa Njikelana. Three years ago, Thembisa tragically lost her son, without any warning, and without any signs of illness other than a sudden headache.
The Witpoortjie woman has spent the last few years struggling to move on with her life and heal, and she knows she isn’t the only parent going through this. “It is easy for others to say that things will get better and I will get over it, but I have lost my son, and that is not an easy thing to deal with,” said Thembisa.
“I know how difficult it is to lose a child, and it is not good to be alone with your thoughts,” she continued. She recalled her desperate need for support after her son’s passing, especially from someone who she felt would understand. Her other family members gave her all of the support they could, for which she is grateful, but still, she felt that she needed to be around someone who experienced what she had and came out the other side. That is why Thembisa is starting a support group for parents who have lost a child.
“I want to create a safe space where people can give and receive support; where they can share, and where they can heal.”
Thembisa is calling the group You’re Not Forgotten and invites any parent who has lost a child to join her in this venture; to heal while helping others heal.
The group will meet at Thembisa’s home in Witpoortjie. If you are interested or would like more information, contact her on 078 396 2815.