An idiot’s guide to …
... dealing with small children's incessant questions.
Research has shown that children ask an average of 144 questions a day – one every five minutes and 12 seconds. This will, more than likely, drive any parent bat crazy.
As soon as their little mouths start forming words, questions follow. “Why is the sky blue?”, “Why can’t I play with your cellphone?”, “How do planes stay in the air?” and on and on it goes. My youngest son is nine months and the oldest turns nine in June. The youngest does not ask questions but rather makes statements – statements of the nappy variety.
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But when the older one was about four, I also had to deal with the Spanish Inquisition. My solution? I had some stock ‘answers’. Whether he asked where his dead dog had gone or wanted to know why carrots are orange, my answers were always the same. “Taxation is theft”, “Anarchism is the only viable alternative to all political systems”, “Voting is violence” or “Democracy is the tyranny of the masses”.
This would usually shut him up, completely dumbfounded to the degree that he did not even have one of those annoying follow-up questions that usually follows your answer to the initial question. I was probably (okay, I was) wrong to use radical political indoctrination to get him off my back. In any case, as he got older he would counter my stock answers with, “But is a Marxist model not more appropriate” or “The SACP would make Karl Marx turn in his grave”. So. There is not really a solution to the issue, but a correct way to approach it.
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This is what the experts say.
• The ‘why-stage’ of development isn’t about annoying the parents, it is what happens when children’s brains exercise their imagination and creative thinking. Therefore do not dismiss their questions or develop ways to discourage them.
• Do not say, “I don’t know”. Children see adults as all-knowing and will perceive this as ‘you are keeping a secret’.
• Embrace your kids’ questions, no matter how aggravating, and make time to answer them. If you do not know the answer, find it.
• Do not stifle their inquisitiveness by rebuffing the children or by responding to them with sarcasm.
• No topic is inappropriate. It is how you deal with the answers. Never say, “We do not talk about that”. For the sake of an open relationship, a child must always feel at liberty to raise any topic with you. This will especially be important when they are older and real issues and embarrassing topics arise.
• Do not dumb down your answer.
• Instead of giving the answer, ask a follow-up question. This will encourage your children to rely on themselves to find the answer. For example, if they ask why they cannot play with the phone, follow it up with a question that will nudge them in the right direction, such as, “Tell me why you think I do not want you to play with the phone”. They might answer with a question such as, “Because I will break it?”. Continue this game until the child finds the right answer.
But do not worry. As they grow older you’ll soon find that you are the one asking the questions. “My boy, how does the TV remote work?”, “Who is Ed Sheeran?”, “What are you wearing?”, “You want to pierce your what … ?!”.
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