Never give up on your dreams

Women’s Day will again be celebrated on 9 August, and during the month, the Record will be featuring the story of an inspirational woman every week. These women have been chosen for their ability to rise above their circumstances and become successful.

It was a sunny winter’s afternoon when I met Ronél Harris, and within five minutes the words vibrant, dynamic, energetic and positive were rushing through my mind. Her hands are never still while she talks, she laughs often and is not shy to show emotion. And even though her story is not pretty or easy to tell, she did not hesitate to share her experiences.

“I believe everyone has a story to tell, and sharing my own experiences and lessons will encourage other women to speak up and serve as models of inspiration and empowerment. That is why I wrote my book, Break Free.”

As the oldest of five children, Ronél did not have an easy childhood. From a young age, she suffered sexual, mental and physical abuse at the hands of her father, the one person she trusted to keep her safe. She was only 12 years old when she had to take over the care of the household because her father left them. She endured poverty and hunger and did everything in her power to make ends meet, resulting in a nervous breakdown at the age of 15.

She later had to learn how to overcome grief and loss after losing her first husband after only 18 months of marriage. His death left her to raise their four-month-old son on her own. Because of all these events, and never really working through everything that had happened to her, she ended up in a sanatorium, and lost her voice.

All of this could so easily have caused her to give up on life and become a victim. Instead, she chose to live life to the fullest and follow her dreams with passion and determination.

“I realised I had a larger purpose and believed there was a better life for me. I chose my path in life. I could have had the victim mentality, but to me it was not an option. I cannot change what happened to me, but I can change my reaction to it,” said Ronél.

She describes herself as a grateful person who embraces every new day with enthusiasm and by giving thanks for the opportunity to be alive for one more day. “I always try to look for the positives in life, there are so many of them. Negative people, and people who are false, irritate me hugely.”

When asked if she ever experiences down days, Ronél laughed and replied, “Yes, I do have days when I pity myself. I will sit down and cry it all out. Then I ask myself if I am finished and go on. Life is too short to waste one second.”

She loves new challenges and said they inspire her. She does not see failure as the end result, but as a lesson. “It is only a failure when you refuse to get up,” she said.

One challenge Ronél embraces with open arms, is the one of motherhood. She has three children, two sons aged 30 and 16 respectively, and a 13-year-old daughter. When she speaks about her family, her eyes sparkle and her face lights up with love and pride.

“Family is very important to me. I have an open relationship with my children, based on mutual respect. I do everything in my power to make sure they are equipped with the right tools to enable them to be the best they can be. I make time to connect with each one of them individually and encourage them to come to me with their doubts, fears and problems.”

She spoke about young people in general and said that if there was one message she could give to them, it would be to put in effort and time, to work hard and with determination. “Never expect anything to just fall into your lap.”

Ronél makes time to relax. She loves cooking, and she said she makes an excellent fillet, but her signature dish is oxtail. “I love the creative side of cooking and I’m known to create amazing recipes on the spur of the moment – and never able to repeat them!”, she laughed.

“I also love to dance, especially the tango, and I do love shopping, especially for shoes! It is my one vice. I love buying shoes, not just for me – for everyone in the family. I have shoes that I haven’t worn yet!”

She also makes time to read and loves motivational books, especially those written by Tony Robbins. “We need to educate ourselves by reading other people’s books/ stories,” she said.

Ronél also makes time to spend with friends. Their favourite pastime is to have a pajama day, where they spend the whole day in their pajamas, eating soup, drinking wine and watching movies. “Gone with the Wind is one of my all-time favourites,” she whispered.

Ronél is inspired by her godmother and people like Oprah Winfrey, Sir Richard Branson and the motivational speaker and author, Tony Robbins. These people are her heroes.

She told a funny story about Tony Robbins: “When Tony Robbins was in the UK a few years ago, I decided I was going to meet him. I saved for three months and bought my ticket. The evening of his show, I was sitting in the front row and he came to me, holding my hand as he was speaking. It felt like we had a special connection. I had an invitation to a VIP lunch where he was due to make a 10 minute appearance the next day. Just before he was set to arrive, I stepped out for a minute. As I was on my way back, everyone told me to hurry, because he was there. I ran back, but couldn’t get through all the people gathered around him and decided to climb on a chair. Once on the chair, I yelled ‘Tony! Remember me? Ronél from South Africa!’ Needless to say, he did, and allowed me to come forward and have my photo taken with him. He also asked me to make sure he received a copy of my book. I was ecstatic!”

Her motto in life is, “Never say never. Anything in life is possible.”

When asked her opinion on what the ultimate woman is, she thought for a while before answering: “Someone who cares for her fellow human beings and who is always there for her family. She is a dynamic, unstoppable, ambitious and kind-hearted person.”

Her message to women is this: “You will never know what you can achieve unless you start! You are the captain of your own ship, you decide which direction to take. Never give up on your dreams. Never say never.”

Ronél said she loves being a woman – it’s fantastic in her eyes. Being a woman means you have all the essentials for life within you. “You are a nurturing force and not only have the power to create life, but to incubate it, and deliver it to the world.”

She left us with her favourite quote, from Diane Mariechild, who said: “A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.”

Do you perhaps have more information pertaining to this story? Email us at roodepoortrecord@caxton.co.za (remember to include your contact details) or phone us on 011 955 1130.

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