How to deal with too much family

Do the holidays send you running for antacids, not because of too much food … but because of too much family? This year, try replacing the Tums with a peacekeeping plan.

Would-be holiday peacekeepers should arm themselves with the fundamentals of etiquette, consideration, respect, and honesty. Post shared the following tips for promoting harmony at family gatherings.

1. Be Realistic
The first step toward enjoying the festivities is to set aside idealized images of how things should go. Be realistic. Don’t think anything is going to be perfect.
Be prepared and know that people tend to get on each other’s nerves and push buttons that can go all the way back to childhood. People have these tapes in their head and tend to respond the way they did years ago. You don’t need to respond the way you did before.

2. Anticipate Conflicts
Plan ahead and try to be as calm as possible with other people. If you can anticipate the types of conflicts that are likely to come up, you can plan a response in advance. This can help avoid the knee-jerk reactions that tend to escalate tensions. For example, if you tend to have the same argument with Dad again and again, come up with a plan to break the cycle. One strategy is to signal your spouse to run interference.
Once you have a plan to keep yourself in line, decide how you will handle bickering among other family members. Wish suggests separating the combatants and asking them to call a truce for the common good.

3. Share the Work
One of the biggest sources of tension is trying to prepare a feast solo when you’re working full time. You want to do right by Mom and Dad and all your loved ones, and you don’t want any of them to be alone on Thanksgiving, so you invite them all. But you are stressed out from work and you have no one to help.