A gentleman plays mom and dad to an appreciative girl

In a household sensitive to culture, gender and age differences as the one shared by Liebrecht van der Merwe and daughter Lani Maphalala, equal doses of love and humour go a long way in growing a nurturing relationship.
For the past almost six years since becoming part of each other’s lives, the father-and-daughter duo had gradually slipped into their respective role play. To such an extent that Van der Merwe knows his stuff when it comes to having braids done and decorating a room fit for a princess. He evidently juggles the duties of a mom and a dad with the greatest of ease and his nine-year-old daughter clearly agreed as she remarked: “He is very cool”.
A date with them was characterised by a sharing of light-hearted quips and mutual teasing while still paying their black cat, Thackery Binx and ageing Cocker Spaniel, Bento the necessary attention. Without any persuasion father and daughter took to the roles of sitters for Polokwane Observer’s photo shoot that was planned around demonstrating the playfulness in their relationship.
Van der Merwe was quick to mention that they shared their own language only grasped by the two of them. He stressed that the past approximate six years had been very eventful years that he couldn’t imagine a life without her and did not want to either. “She is part of my life and when she isn’t around the house is very quiet.”
It is the small things in life that matter to them, like watching home movies together. Since early on they had dad-and-daughter days when they went for picnics in Haenertsburg or at Polokwane Game Reserve and frequented the cinema, he added.
He said Lani considered her home her haven where she enjoyed pyjama days twice a month. She loves to do girl things and he leaves her to experiment. Considering his artistic nature, he had stood back to leave her to engage in art and if need be guided her but believed subconsciously his juxtaposing of elements must have rubbed off on her, he said.
With a pledge formulated in his own words and borrowed from the inspirational writing of others, he undertook to keep her safe and support her at all times. Van der Merwe said he believed every daughter needed a father against whom she could measure any man in future. He further explained that the emotional sharing of the promise formed part of a date to a resort out of town in February this year during which he emphasised the guidelines for gentlemanly behaviour, by opening the car door for her and treating her like a lady. The framed version of his undertaking is a reminder on display at home.
Lani had the last say when expressing the opinion that her dad did a very good job at parenthood. She appreciated the fact that he occasionally helped her in her artistic endeavours. She cherishes their outings together, like a visit to Sun City two years ago but also when they spend time at home, watching movies and having popcorn. When they cooked together she preferred pasta, she declared while her dad interrupted by saying it had to exclude the butternut he had such an affinity for but Lani disliked.
In conclusion she reckoned Friday evening’s power outage, that affected almost half the city, was somewhat of a blessing in disguise as the two of them used the opportunity to light candles and share a conversation.

Story and photos: YOLANDE NEL
>>observer.yolande@gmail.com