POLOKWANE – For some people, the 21-day national lockdown period sounds like bliss. Sleeping in, binge-watching Showmax and spending quality time with family.
Some even look forward to working in the garden and giving the house a proper clean but for others, the same period looks bleak. These people will miss hanging out at malls or dining out every evening.
Some of these people are in lockdown with a person who abuses them; physically, emotionally and sexually, and getting out of the house was a taste of freedom they have now lost.
For me, and some others like me, things are different. I do not like to hang out in malls and I do not live with an abuser. I love sleeping in. But I know myself and I know, even though I prefer to be alone, that being alone for 21 days is not good for me. I need routine so that I do not lose my mind.
Being alone too long makes me feel extremely lonely. I therefore prefer not to be at home during my holidays and rather go visit my family.
Apart from being lonely (there is a difference between lonely and alone), I experience anxiety.
What-if questions go round-and-round in my head… What if someone I love falls ill? What if I lose my income due to COVID-19? What if…?
A lot of you would say ‘but use technology to your best’ but I promise you; no amount of voice calls and text messages, video calls and old fashion calls can take this feeling of loneliness away. My friends and family do everything possible to keep my spirits up, but somewhere along the line, from about day four of solitude, that doesn’t even help.
I keep up my normal routine; wake up, do my bible study, drink my medication, work, read, search for more stories, play with my dogs, watch TV, write in my journal, and repeat most of it. I walk around my house, sit outside in nature, call my mom, my sister, my dad and my friends.
In the end, I am still all alone and lonely.
I have friends in similar situations who also fight this vicious dog that wants to tear them apart. A day or two before the lockdown started a friend cryingly confessed to me that she struggles with depression.
Everyone around me reaches out in different ways; by offering to go to the store or pharmacy for an elderly person, by giving online sermons, gym sessions and so much more.
People with depression however suffer in silence as we do not want to bother others with our problems – mostly because they will not understand and secondly because, in reality, they can do nothing to make it better. Sometimes all we need is the presence of another person, not necessarily speaking to us or even touching us, just to be there.
I am lucky to be in a profession where I need to go into the office at least once a week, and I will most likely go in more than that. For everyone else who does not have that opportunity, for every person, especially the elderly, who lives alone; keep up your spirits.
Reach out, do not suffer in silence. For now, it is only 21 days (actually a few less) so look at the bright side and not the dark side. For people who have loved ones who suffer from depression or who are just alone at home, reach out to them. Often and sincerely.
SADAG launched a daily Facebook Expert Chat where you can speak to a mental health professional live on their Facebook page from 13:00 to 14:00 where you can get free expert advice on any questions you may have on mental health and Covid-19 during the lockdown.
If you’d like to ask your questions anonymously, email them to media@anxiety.org.za and they’ll post it on your behalf. Then, just watch the chat for answers.
