POLOKWANE – Gender-based violence is still a reality for many women in South Africa. BONUS visited the Khuseleka one-stop centre in Polokwane. Spokesperson for the Department of Social Development, Witness Tiva, explained that the centre urges victims to seek help, either from the police or a social worker, “but it is sad that victims remain in abusive relationships with the hope that things will change. This is a perception that needs to change.”
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He explained that factors which lead to victims going back to an abusive relationship include financial dependency, the hope that the person will change, isolation, societal expectations, threats from the abuser, children, fear of not being believed and sometimes, victims believe they have nowhere to go. Victims should know that after contacting the police or social workers, they will be taken to a safe place away from the abuser and will be offered psycho-social support that will help build their inner strength.
“We have also established a command centre that is open 24/7 and offers online trauma counselling.” The shelter provides development programmes that equip women with skills to help them become economically independent and in cases where there are children, a maintenance order will be obtained from court.”
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Social workers at the centre have attended to roughly 250 victims in the last few months. Victims who are discharged are referred back to their area’s social workers for aftercare service. The centre is committed to listen to victims, to support them, to accept them and to not judge them.
A psychologist, Maredi Mothapo explains how hard it is for most victims to leave in fear of rejection or not being believed. He says victims are reluctant to disclose the identity of the abuser because, in most cases, the acts go unpunished. “Most of the victims have normalised the abnormal and have accepted it as a way of life, we call that battered women syndrome.”
He also observed that it is harder when children are involved because of fear of an uncertain future. He explained that a critical step is to acknowledge the abuse and seek professional help. “They must know that there is help and they are worth more that what they are subjected to. The perpetrator will never stop abusing as long as you do not do something about it. Love can never be associated with pain.”
Emergency numbers are 0800 428 428/0800 600 10111 or send an SMS to 31531.
