POLOKWANE – For years parents have been using bargaining to ensure that their children get something done. Bargaining is where parents negotiate with their children and reach an agreement for them to get incentives, such as cash for doing things. Review spoke to registered counsellor, Maphuti Mashiane to find out whether bargaining with children for good grades works and whether it is a good idea to do so as parents.
Mashiane said that research indicates that children whose parents have a punitive approach towards their child’s academics, are most likely not building or helping the child to improve in their school performance. “Parents who use punitive strategy may inadvertently deny their children the opportunity to learn the very skills and knowledge they require to improve their academics. Punitive strategies may increase children’s sense of frustration and aversion towards their academics,” he said.
Bargaining with a child for better school marks might not have the outcome that parents hope for. This approach is unlikely to work because it does not directly address the underlying problems which lead to the poor result. It is a short term solution for what might turn into a long term problem. “Although parents need to create a less punitive and more nurturing environment with warm, consistent and responsive parenting, they still need to have boundaries and limits for their children. Such an environment not only stands to enhance your child’s academic achievements but many aspects of their biological, social, emotional and behavioural development too,” he said.
Other research has shown the importance of giving and seeking specific feedback from an external source, such as a parents or teachers, on what good performance is, how their current performance relates to the ideal standard and how they can act to close that gap. “Teachers are a great source of information so that parents can understand the reasons behind their child’s poor performance and not make faulty attributions about the underlying cause. No matter how bad the report card might be, do not fall into the easy trap of taking your child’s poor performance out on the school,” he added.
Teachers are not only there to help but are an important ally in helping improve your child’s school performance. Engage in co-operative and constructive collaboration with your child’s school which is built on mutual respect and understanding.
